I (31M) have been dating my boyfriend (51M) now for about 3 solid months. We are in an ENM relationship, he has a wife also in her 50s who I have met, I currently do not have another partner. When I met my partner his wife had been steadily seeing someone for quite some time and he did not have another partner. He felt some jealousy, some isolation, and worked through it all without putting that strain on his wife.

Shortly after we met, she and her partner (not her husband) decided mutually to end things because he just wasn’t in a good place in life to handle a relationship. So here is where the problems started. She had never experienced being without a boyfriend during their ENM journey so she also has been developing feelings of jealousy, isolation and even worse regret. Opening up their marriage was her idea and since she has been struggling to find a boyfriend while me and her husband are doing so well I don’t believe she is happy with the arrangement.

I know it’s only been 3 months so some may think it’s a bit early but I love my boyfriend. He’s such an amazing person and we get along so damn well. We’re planning trips and just excited to continue to spend time together and see where things go. That being said, I have a constant fear and anxiety that it’s just going to come to an end at any point because of his wife.

I’m typing this and looking for advice because I literally just got a text from him saying the most recent guy she was dating said he doesn’t want to date her anymore. My heart sinks every time I get that text and i feel like it’s about to be over. I’ll add for context there isn’t anything wrong with her, she’s fun to be around in my opinion. They always say they can’t do the ENM thing even though it’s the FIRST thing she mentions.

Any thoughts on how to move forward without getting hurt or how I protect my own feelings?