My wife and I have some couple friends who are also ENM. They live together, but the guy (we'll call him K) works in a different state, hence why they are ENM.

Recently, my wife and K have been chatting more often and he invited my wife to fly out and stay a few days with him. Obviously, this would entail sex. Everyone involved knows this. K was cordial enough to text me and ask if it would be okay. My wife also asked me. I approved because I figured it could be a fun experience - wife goes on a safe trip with a trustworthy person and I get a few days to myself. Plus, K's partner and myself have been chatting more often and have both conveyed that we want to be intimate with each other. So to me, it seemed like a perfect scenario to set up future swaps. It's always nice having friends in this community.

My problem is that my wife and I haven't been intimate in about 5 weeks. She's been in a bit of a rut, with quitting her job and depression. I have been very supportive of her, taken care of her, and tried to be more loose about things to create a stress-free environment. I have however tried to be intimate with her on several occasions and have been turned down every time. One of our rules since becoming ENM has been "if we aren't screwing each other, we aren't screwing anyone else". Well, that rule just flew out the window last night.

She left yesterday and I'm almost certain by now she has had sex with K. Admittedly, we got into a bit of a tiff before she left about this issue. She tells me she just hasn't had a sex drive but she doesn't want to turn down a free trip. Everything is paid for. I'm not sure how to feel. She basically gave me a hall pass for 3 days (which I've used already) but I can't help but feel a little sad that our rule was violated, even under special circumstances. I also feel guilty for feeling upset. Deep down, I think this could be good for her mental health. A little getaway. At times I feel like I'm pressuring my wife for sex but at the same time, she's my wife and we have established rules. So ultimately I've become numb to it and don't know how to feel