My partner is married and their wife recently started seeing someone new. Got a message last night saying I’d matched on an app with the New Partner a while ago….how could you all possibly know that? I asked. As background, I have not yet met Wife and the name of the New Partner doesn’t sound familiar at all.

Wife was telling New Partner about her metas and New Partner wanted to see what we look like, for some reason. Wife apparently just has pictures of us in her phone (why these are collected, I have no idea), so she showed them and New Partner recognized me from the app even though we never met.

This whole scenario makes me really uncomfortable. I’m pretty private, so the idea that a person I don’t know keeps a photo of me and shows it to other people I don’t know for reasons I don’t understand, bothers me. Wife also knew it would bother me because she told my partner to keep it a secret from me. I communicated to partner how uncomfortable this makes me and I don’t think the message got across. I am glad they told me but am worried about the whole keep-this-a-secret thing

I get that this is a relatively small thing, but am I the weird one for this bothering me? I immediately felt alarm bells ringing when I found out and haven’t been able to shake the uneasy feeling since.