I don’t do EMDR every week, but I have done 11 sessions of EMDR now for complex trauma.

I have noticed some things are different: I have been more willing to talk to people about difficult things, I have been more willing to put myself in situations that usually would cause a high level of panic and resistance, I am slightly less bothered by noise.

I have been listening to bilateral “EMDR” music outside of the therapies when I am stressed and think that is helping too, doing bilateral walking too - thinking about right foot step, left foot step.

I wonder how I will be at 22 weeks. Right now the change is subtle. I plan to do this for at least a year.

After the first several sessions I was like a scared animal, hiding in the bathtub, emotionally volatile. I still feel tired and upset, but I have started moving around or cleaning right after and it’s been a lot better.