i've been waiting my entire life for this surgery. i know it would make me so happy. my chest gives me so much dysphoria and i need it gone.

but if i lose any weight I know that my doctors won't let me go through with it. they've expressed concern that i'm too "unstable" even though i'm not even that underweight and have been within the same 5 pound range for a year now. i feel so uncomfortable at my current weight and want to start restricting SO bad. i just don't know what to do anymore. it's like i have to choose between losing the fat or losing my chest and i just...am so conflicted bc i want both so badly.

any advice appreciated <3