I saw a thread the other day where a guy was planning on killing himself and if what he had would do the job, or something like that, and I have no idea what happened in the end because I just couldn't read it, because shortly before that I found out my opioid addicted best friend had been found dead. A few days earlier we talked half the night because for some reason I woke up quite energised and decided to turn on my phone where like ten minutes earlier I had gotten a goodbye text... I persuaded her to answer the phone after first refusing and I talked with her long enough to know that she was safe from the overdose and she seemed to feel better. We talked and texted the day after, she was homeless and the plan was that she would come to me a while until things settled down. The next day I couldn't get a hold of her. And the day after that the news broke. She had been found dead.

Please, if you see no other way out, seek help, some sort of help, you may only have access to shit help but please take it! Or call someone you love and talk about it. Just do anything and everything that keeps you alive. Believe me, I understand the feeling, I've been suicidal and I've failed an attempt. It felt like the best alternative for everyone, because everybody would have it so much better without me, right? No one would miss or remember me, they'd probably be happy I did it in the end. I had exactly the same thoughts. My best friend did too... And guess what? So, so, so many people are hurting really bad right now. I myself can't even fucking look at memes or see a reel of Theo Von without tearing up because it reminds me of her and that I will never hear her amazing laugh or beautiful voice again. She was deeply loved by so many people without knowing it. And she hated herself the most.

I'm so happy my attempt failed because I never want to bring this kind of pain to my loved ones. Your loved ones will suffer the same pain if you decide to end it... So if you don't care about yourself, if you don't think you deserve or can stand the pain of life, please, stay for your loved ones. They will hurt, they will blame themselves and they will cry many, many a tear.

My heart goes out to everyone out there suffering.