It was almost exactly 2am and I just completely snapped back to reality. I just have to vent because I'm pissed. To preiterate (idk if that's a word), I woke up this morning, donated some plasma for a couple fun moneys. Bought a 2gram thc p cart, and (eventually, over time) bought 2 shots of kratom extract and eventually two pints of liqour.

I live with my parents currently who dont support the habits, when I just smoke I'm good, I haven't done kratom in 2 years, and when I drink liqour I'm fucked every fucking time. So I drank the fucking liqour today obviously. I'm having to piece time back together via text messages and reddit posts. And I think I'm good. Idk why I didn't just stick to smoking but I fucked up. But texts show I didn't even crack the liqour until I was put away in my room for the night. Problem is.... I woke from this blackout, 2 am, ready to just smoke and maybe drink a bit cause it's not 4am like I thought. But, I cannot find the bandages from when I donated plasma (money I'm not supposed to have, swear to god I'm not underage lol), and I can't find the package for the thc p cart I bought, which I know I stupidly was taking pictures of for reddit... God damn man. I'm so stupid. I wish I could just say that was stupid af, won't do that again, and hit the cart watch some true crime and fall asleep (don't got shit to do tomorrow),but I can't cause idk where the damn bandages and cart box are... I could've handed them to my dad last night for all i know... I still have half a bottle and a full ass cart tho so like, they prolly would've taken them from me rather than let me get fucked up and look like a idiot right? But just where are they? I have no idea what I did with them. Maybe I blended them and flushed down to toilet, idk. Everything's prolly fine, but at the same time wtf. They didn't go stingy on the bandage, they wrapped that shit like 20 times, am I gonna have to make an excuse in the morning? I done even know dude. Black out.

Tldr:fuck alcohol and benzos, all I did was alcohol out of those, but they both make you forget and fuck that fr bruh. You could've killed someone and don't even fucking know. That's scary as shit.