I (F33) am trying to figure out the best way to conclude my marriage to (M45) and could use some advice.

I would prefer it to be a mutual divorce. In our country, a mutual divorce would take ten days only, one sided takes 3 months at least.

We have really ugly conflicts and are unable to talk about our problems. That's one big reason I need to leave. The problem is, when I have spoken to him about my needs or issues in the past, his main response has been to tell me that I'm just being negative, we have no problems etc. So I know that when I bring up divorce, he will wear me down with a lot of one sided discourse about how this is coming out of nowhere etc. The conversation will then escalate because he doesn't know how to stop and starts yelling and not backing off which is very triggering for me and I start fighting back or closing off.

So I guess I'm asking for advice on how to end this without entering this cycle. I would prefer it to be cordial and friendly and if not that, at the very least not become a huge fight again.

Ideas?