CW: rape/sexual assault (in passing, no sort of in-depth description)

I (29 M) have no desire to seriously date women below a certain age. For me, that's meant anyone born in the 2000s, and so far, I haven't deviated from that inclination. It's probably a mental block more than anything, but I just think of them as generationally so different even from me, as a tail-end Millennial. The thought of dating a woman of that age — much less having sex with one — has long unequivocally grossed me out (and while I don't logically understand the appeal of age gap relationships/attraction, I don't hold it against consenting, enthusiastic and/or loving partners to whom that applies).

However, several months ago, I made a local r4r post where, despite stressing a requirement that I only wanted to hear from women age 25 , I received separate messages from two young women, aged 21 and 20, claiming to be students at a nearby university (and, coincidentally, my alma mater) who were interested in my post. I had stressed the importance I put on intimacy and mutual growth with all partners, even women with whom I have only casual arrangements. They both said that, though not virgins, they had minimal sexual experience and wanted to have the opportunity to get more comfortable with sex itself in a safe and supportive environment, virtues that my post had emphasized. My instinct was to turn them away, but something subconscious told me to at least hear them out and see if I could warm up to the idea.

The two young women both ended up ghosting me in the end, but their outreach planted a seed I haven't been able to uproot. While I was in college, I was, unintentionally, a serial monogamist, who had two serious long-term relationships that also comprised my first two sexual partners. They were the only two partners in any capacity that I had in college, and while there were opportunities for me my freshman year to have had more casual sex and experimented more with dating before those relationships, I didn't give myself the chance and it's been something I now regret not doing at the time (and yes, I've dealt with all of these realizations in extensive therapy in the years since).

Nevertheless, I was the first person my first partner felt comfortable exploring sex with again since she survived being raped two years earlier. And I was my second partner's first sexual partner, period (and she had grown up in a household with a sexist, misogynistic and, I later found out, sexually abusive father), and we didn't engage in penetrative sex until more than a year of being together. While I wouldn't wait that long again now for a partner — sex is too important to me in pursuing compatibly serious relationships — being valued and entrusted by these partners meant a great deal to me at a time when my self-worth was particularly low, for mostly unrelated reasons but some that nevertheless leached into my dating confidence. I felt good about myself and in how I conducted myself with my partners, then and since, in being communicative, responsive to their feedback, and open-minded about exploring different sexual experiences and kinks together (which all partners should be!). Even my more experienced partners, both serious and casual, in my post-college years have made a point to tell me how much they appreciated those qualities in me, given the rarity with which they have had sexual encounters with men who have prioritized their pleasure equally to or more than their own (which I say as something to which the prevalence was, however naively, revelatory to me, not as something about which I aggrandize myself).

I feel like all women deserve to experience this, both early and as frequently as possible. And I've come to learn through these partners, and with candid discussions with female platonic friends, how hard that is to find. Between my own experiences and the seed that has taken root, I haven't been able to shake the desire — whether kink and/or fetish is a more appropriate term, I'll leave to interpretation — to provide that at least once for a current college student (or at "worst," a young adult woman born post-2000 who may still be sexually inexperienced or unexperienced) so she can have the proper baseline of care and satisfaction with a partner before branching out with that confidence and level of standards for herself with others.

I'm not interested in warping anyone's perception of what "good" sex is or be anything more than someone with whom they feel and experience a genuine interpersonal and sexual connection, however platonic it would be. And I'm not interested in this from a holier-than-thou perspective. It comes from a desire to do anything and everything I can to partake in dismantling patriarchy, and while this is an unorthodox way of suggesting that I could do so, I think even being someone worthy of trust, compassion, and care in such an intimate and vulnerable position is something I can show deserves recognition and acknowledgement, not something to be neglected altogether the way many men evidently do.

I don't know what to do with this, if anything. I posted in another subreddit asking for how I could frame this desire and was accused of being a creep, of subverting a desire to groom young women and being a pedophile. I have zero interest in either or in isolating anyone away from their friends, family, and communities or bending someone to my control or will. In fact, I don't mind being disposable! Once any such partner(s) gains the comfort or confidence she needs to experiment in college with a healthy, positive and self-worthy outlook, I don't want to stand in her way of seeking men with whom she wants to interact and/or date with greater intention than the role I'd seek to play in helping her get there.

Is there any way of putting myself out there for this in a judgment-free way, where my intentions won't be misinterpreted or misstated? Or is this something I should, or have to, just sit with and disregard as a fantasy? I appreciate and thank those of you who have read to the end and read closely, so as to understand the genuinely altruistic intent of the advice and insight I seek. I have no interest or desire to inflict harm of any kind on anyone.