On Saturday, after speaking with my brother about should I talk to a lawyer or not, I finally told him just about everything that afternoon. We both really opened up and were honest about our sexless relationship. I was crying of course due to my depression issues, but I felt like we both really got stuff off our chest. I think the line that really help make it sink in was when I said " if you put as much effort into getting an oil change for your car, you should be able to do the same for you own health.. but its not a priority to you. It's never been a priority to you for years.. and that's why I am giving you this one last chance to prove me wrong and show me that you care" he agreed that he has know this has been a problem for years and he has just been avoiding the doctors. He said he would call on Monday and book an appointment to see if it's related to his testosterone levels ( which he thinks it is) but he said he is scares to find out there's nothing wrong with him. I said that fear is killing me. You cannot solve a problem by avoiding it.. it doesn't go away and you should want to know if there is something physically wrong with you or not. We both don't like doctors... I hate getting poked and proded each visit. Vaginal ultrasounds are my 3 month routine and it sucks but not knowing is even worst.

We learned that we both think our sex is terrible. We both learned that we have different memories for the details but overall we can say yes there have been times when it was once a year.. he can't explain why we don't have sex on vacation or when he proposed.. he doesn't know why but he think it's related to his hormones. I said even if it isn't, maybe it's your anxiety that's killing your sex drive or maybe like me you also have depression. I said without speaking to a doctor and getting tested we will never know but I will be there if it's not his hormones so that we can bother work on our depression and anxiety issues together and take sex slow until we both feel better.

I told him I would leave on Sunday. He hoped it would only be a week. He said he misses me already. He tried hard on Saturday to be more affectionate.

Sunday. I made us a yummy breakfest and we had our morning routine of YouTube, breakfest and coffee. Afterwards he cleaned up and I started to clean up my projects to make the house nice and clean before I left. I packed bag and left it by our bedroom door until I was ready to go. We spent the day outside playing some card games, had a glass of wine with cheese and when he went upstairs he noticed the bag. He asked if I was still leaving... I said yes but I haven't decided what time today. I asked him what time do you think? He said maybe after we eat our early dinner/late lunch around 2ish. I agreed and we continue to enjoy our last day together.

Before I left, I took one of my nightgowns and sprayed it with his favorite perfume of mine. I laid it on my pillow under the blankets so it was hidden and the smell would be captured under the sheets. I also took a peice of paper, put our names on it and under it wrote the words: Needs, wants, desires. I wrote our my needs - more sex (Piv) and sexy times ( no Piv), sex or sexy times once a week. My wants - more joking and having fun with sex and our sexy times. More adventurous and spontaneous times ( like outdoor sex). My desires - to be open and honest about sex, to make him orgasim when we do have sex. I left his side blank and said to reflect on what he wants and we can review it together on Saturday. I said we should have a date night on Saturday and I will decide if one week was enough or if I need more time by then. He said he agrees we may need to schedule sex to get back into a routine so I know once a week is a good target to start with at least.

Its about 3pm, time to leave.