Any HLers in this sub like me whose LL partners accompany their rejection with "arousal shaming" or reducing your advances to simple sexual objectification?

They tell you they've got so much on their plate. They tell you they're too tired all the time. They tell you that you don't take enough time to "warm them up" with flirtation and foreplay.

You take the feedback and make changes.

You take the initiative to take on more household chores - cooking, cleaning, helping kids with homework, etc. You ask if there's anything you can take off template. You show genuine support of their endeavors.

None of this is done for the purpose of just trying to make sex happen - you genuinely want yo be a supportive partner.

You take the time to flirt more. You ask what your partner likes, they give you no clue. You try various different things - massages, intimate touching and kissing, saying romantic things, sending flirty texts.

Then... you finally get the courage up to Try to initiate again. You work yourself through the notion that you've created for yourself that your LL partner is just going to reject you again.

You go for it. You're alone with your partner. You start saying things like how sexy they look. You start kissing and sucking on their neck. You tell them "I want you".

And you get rejected again.

Your LL partner even goes so far as to call you something like a "lecher" or a "pervert" or some other disparaging term. They tell you that the only reason you're initiating is to get a release for yourself - you don't want to "connect"; you don't want romance. They even go so far as to tell you they're not just a random "hole" / "pole" for your pleasure and you shouldn't treat them that way.

And now... you're left aroused and wondering what you did wrong. And all you can come up with is...

WHAT. THE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!?!?!?!?!? (You say this to yourself, not your LL partner)

Anybody else dealing with anything similar? How do you cope?