It's been almost 3 months now for us. My wife, now 37, seemingly has had LL for years - we started having problems after our only child was born 8 years ago. When it does happen there is no starfishing, but it happens about maybe once a month or so for us. Other than the HJ she gave me about a week ago, this is the longest we've gone with no sex.

She has a job that requires long hours and a lot of travel and she is seriously underpaid. I love her passion for it but I hate how unfulfilled it makes her feel sometimes.

Every time she rejects me, I (40) take it way too hard. Maybe she knows I do and doesn't want to speak when I make advances. But she has to know that not saying anything is just as hurtful to me as saying 'no'.

Now, she has a medical condition. Some minor bleeding due to an IUD. I read some other DB posters were having similar issues, and how long it took for the issues to get better.

I guess I'm just venting. Just made at myself because now, after what just happened just now, I get it. She turns me on sexually so much when I'm near her, that when we cuddle she doesn't mind if I get an erections but if I keep making advances or touching her intimately when she's not in the mood it frustrates her - sometimes because she didn't want to be touched that way, and sometimes because she may want to allow herself to let my advances get her in the right mood but then her mind goes to the bleeding and she shuts down. I'm realizing that every time we've cuddled in the past few weeks, I've either mentioned sex or tried to touch her inappropriately. Wow, I can just imagine all the pressure I'm putting on her. No wonder she doesn't talk to me during those moments. Really makes me feel like shit to know I do that to my wife.

I owe her a huge apology.

Just as a discussion topic - any HL posters out there got any tips on dealing with sexual frustration so that they don't put pressure on their LL spouses that can drive them away?