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Anyone else get super anxious about initiating now?
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I (26M) used to try to initiate in a bunch of different ways. Flirty texts, touches, singing along with songs with sexual lyrics, presents, eventually just flat out asking or saying it. However, she (27F) isn't receptive to anything anymore, and will only ever agree if "everything that day was perfect."

Tough day at work? No sex. Had a disagreement with her mom? No sex. Friend drama? No sex.

Things completely out of my control completely ruin the evening or moment between us, and it has been weighing me down. Now I feel like everytime I want to suggest or push for sex, I get anxious and worried about her answer. I don't know what I can do differently to approach the topic or initiate.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to help this? Anyone else experiencing this kind of rejection?

Comments
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Damn...you perfectly summed it up. Perfectly...

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Thank you. I almost wish I had more problems in the relationship. This is it, and it makes me upset because this is the biggest hurdle.

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Yes, exactly! I've been told all these limiting factors, and if I can't find the 10 second sliver of time where it's "perfect for you", then it's on me for not initiating. It's very stressful and it always makes me worried

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Yep. My wife claims we have this avid, interesting sex life to her friends...honey, I wish.

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Yes, that is what I have been doing too. Reading my partner looking for the right time "to strike" is not a game I want to be actively playing when we are supposed to be partners for life

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Honestly how I feel I should do it too. Improve myself and the sex can improve when she wants to put that effort in. If not, I can be productive elsewhere.

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1 year ago