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What’s the closest you have come to a r/DarwinAwards ?
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For me: 4 suicide attempts, medicines.

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But it’s always sooo good😝

I dated a gal who continuously hit me while I was sleeping, like hard, I stayed w her for two years, even after she told me she’d though about stabbing me in my sleep🤷🏽‍♂️

I've been on several trains in India. Rode the metro in Russia a few days before a terrorist attack on the same line. Entered the K-hole home alone, woke up in a puddle of puke the next day, realistically that was probably the closest. Also tried to gas myself with a garbage bag full of helium once, but it turns out you still breathe out enough CO2 to trip your CO2 sensors and trigger fight or flight.(That's what they gas pigs with, fucking monsters)

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She’d accuse me of having a “too close” relationship w my daughter, it was really bad and yeah I def was as dumb as a dude sticking his head in a compactor for as long as I kept staying w her… I had to go a business trip to Austin from San Diego was the only way I could break it off, sent my nephew and some friends to get my stuff from our place… it was like a straight up j-lo movie

I wasn’t allowed to… the one main one she freaked out about was a family friend whom I had known for years who was coming into town asking if she could meet her, I ignored the messages just like all of my friends from before she and I had met, it didn’t matter… I was supposed to have told her about the text

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She’d punch me in my face to wake me up, she was a bartender so she’d come home late, go through my phone if anything didn’t suit her or if I hadn’t told her so and so messaged me… boom punched awake

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11 months ago