Hi Dads, I posted a version of this earlier today on r/sex and didn’t really get a response. Tried r/momforaminute too and I’m not sure my post actually got posted. Starting to wonder if this new profile is glitchy….. Anyway, I’m having a hard time figuring out what I want when it comes to sex, and some honest fatherly advice and support would be great right now. My dad has never been comfortable talking about the topic.

Here’s my problem. I don’t know what I want. Well, I do. I know I want to be emotionally and sexually fulfilled. But I don’t know what path will provide me with that outcome, and I feel like I just don’t know what to do…

I’m a guy, 27, and still a virgin. That’s due in part to a sex negative religious upbringing, in part to anxiety & OCD, and partly just because I’ve never met the right woman… I REALLY wanna have sex. I feel like it’s driving me crazy sometimes. For most of my life, I’ve held on to this hope, this fantasy, that someday I’d meet the right woman, and everything would just click and fall into place for me. That I’d meet someone beautiful and kind and sexy and fun and cool…..That I’d somehow meet the woman of my dreams, and that we’d have fantastic sex. But it hasn’t happened yet, and I’m getting impatient. I’m definitely suffering from dating fatigue, which is making me feel worse about the whole situation. Part of me is still holding out hope that some amazing woman will come into my life. But another part of me is beginning to doubt it. I’m starting to feel like maybe she isn’t out there….

At the same time, I’m starting to wonder if by waiting for this one dream woman, who may or may not exist, if I’m limiting myself from a ton of other great experiences I could have and explore. I’m starting to feel more open to the idea of exploring my sexuality. Maybe I should try causal sex, or friends with benefits. Maybe I’d enjoy kink or BDSM. Maybe I should visit an adult convention and meet a couple of my favorite pornstars, Do I want to try being a bull for a hotwife? Maybe🤷‍♂️ What fantasies do I have that I really want to live out? What are fantasies I don’t want to become reality?

I’ve just realized that there’s a huge world of sexual experiences to be had, that I’ve never even seriously considered and I can’t help but wonder…..am I missing out?

I’ve always just been so consumed with the idea of finding a girlfriend and losing my virginity with her in a monogamous relationship, I’ve never even given a second thought to anything else.

One side of me still hopes this is how it happens. That I meet a woman who is my best friend, who’s sweet as an angel, and sexy as hell. But another side of me wonders what would happen if I pushed myself a little. What would it be like if I got over my anxiety and tried some things I never dreamed of trying? I’ve always been so anxious, so morally strict, so afraid of consequences, that I’ve lived a pretty safe and small life. I’ve never felt like I could push past the boundaries I set for myself. But I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I at least tried……

Maybe having these experiences and meeting a special woman aren’t mutually exclusive concepts. Maybe she’ll help me or introduce me to new things I never thought I would have the courage to try. Maybe sex will be so good with her that I won’t give anything else a second thought.

All I know right now is that I’m lonely. I’m tired. I feel turned on so often. I’m afraid of making the wrong choice. I’m afraid of missing out on a ton of great experiences. I’m afraid of trying something new and having it backfire (anxiety about unplanned pregnancy and STDs is terrible for me) I’m afraid that maybe I’d finally meet the woman of my dreams, but she’d reject me if I slept around before I met her….I just feel like a mess.

I hate sex and I love sex. And the worst part is, I’ve never even HAD sex.

If you have thoughts, advice, comments, encouragement, or anything else, please share. I don’t care if you’re the most vanilla person ever and only had 1 partner, or if you’re the kinkiest person ever and had 1,000. I want to hear from everyone. Thanks for reading all this.