Hey there! I don't normally do this, because every time I do I get laughed at or people are just mean to me, but I'm here asking for help. Please, if you're gonna be mean, just don't.

I'm been in the community for a Long time and I'm no stranger to it. . I'm 29. For most of that time I've believed i was a Dom, a pleasure dom more specificly, and for almost as long a daddy dom or caregiver.

Lately some things have happened in my head, some realization, that make me question these things and my roles in the community.

I was wondering if there was anyone who would be willing to help me figure out what I am and help me explain these things better?

And before you get on it, yes I know labels aren't everything and I know I'm just who I am. But I feel like these labels that I've been using have been helping me Look for the wrong person for me and I believe if I cam figure these things out, I can maybe start my search for the right type of person.

For the longest time I've always been told I'm “the best daddy” by Many many people and I've had many brats I've tamed just by being myself, not really trying to do anything special.

Generally I'm a pleasure dom who really enjoys Focusing on giving oral, giving multiple orgasms, squirting, seeing someone blush and squirm. I also very much like to be a bit sadistic in the way thst I like spanking, impact play, and forced orgasms or desperation/begging. On top of that though I really love aftercare and making sure my person is safe and taken care of, both in and outside of the sex stuff. There are a few kinks I have that are less common and kind of tabooish But lean on voyeurism. But very much I also love knowing what my psrtner likes to mske them feel good or happy and doing those things for them.

When it comes to being a dom/Daddy, one thing i really believe I fall short on is, is rules. I can give them, but they are mostly basic stuff and nothing excessive. Plus, I myself am really bad about following up on them, and making sure they sre being followed svery day. Yes i know there sre apps for it, but those don't really help me with ALL of the rules. Anyway, so I feel like I'm just bad with rules. When it comes to being a daddy too and doing little activities with my little, I cam never think of things to do except have them color for me, watch cartoons or disney movies, and lay with me, with a sippy or bottle, znd cuddle But i feel like i should be doing something more.

I don't Like receiving pain, or having “rules” myself. I do like to have the control in the bedroom I think. Though I don't mind being told that my psrtner would like me to do something for them.

When it comes to the relationship, outside the bedroom, I really prefer someone who loves affection, but I'm tired of always being the one who initiates it, makes the effort, makes the first move. So I'm feeling like I might be better in a relationship where I'm not the one who always takes the lead, So maybe a female lead relationship? But thst generally comes with a more dominant women.

So I'm confused. I really would like to figure out what I am and what maybe I need to look for.

Could I be like a service sub or bottom. Could i be a sub who doesnt like pain? Could I be a Caregiver/daddy who needs a more dominant little princess?

I'm just confused and I'd really like some help. Please.