So, a month ago, I moved to California from Utah. I've lived in Utah for my entire life (20 years). Everything is there: family, friends, a volunteering opportunity I loved (community theatre).

I got really sick in November. Like, dead-by-Christmas-if-I-didn't-move sick. So within a week, I moved in with my aunt in San Diego.

My health is much better (I was on 4L of oxygen to get to 93% on my oximeter in Utah - I'm not on O2 here except for when I'm sleeping). I even caught something from my aunt and her kids but unlike at home, I haven't needed supplemental oxygen or a hospitalistation to get better.

But that's not enough for me.

I'm a huge family and friends person. They're my reason to live. I got a small goodbye with my mom and sister before I left. No one else - not even my brothers. And every day being here, it breaks my heart again and again. I thought I'd be able to go back to Utah next spring to have a real farewell, but now I'm realizing my lungs couldn't handle going back to 4,000' elevation. I'll never get to say goodbye to anyone.

My mental health has hit rock bottom. I'm doing the bare minimum that I need to be doing because I just don't care. (I do have an intake appointment with a therapist in January, so hopefully that works out) I would rather die in Utah than be alone for years to come, and I WOULD if I knew what happened after death. I'm too afraid of what comes next, though. I don't have a car so I'm not able to even attempt to socialize and make a new life here.

I also need to move out of my aunt's house at some point because she has children and I do not vibe with kids. I can't ever feel comfortable around them, which leads to me not taking care of myself. The problem is, the cheapest rooms to rent are $800 , and those are only if you'll split a room with someone. Having your own room is around $1,200 , from what I've seen. And like most disabled people, I'm broke.

I've never felt so alone. I feel like I've been stranded on an island. I know that even if family came to visit, they'd inevitably leave and I'd be alone again.

So, that's where I am right now. And though it might not seem like it, I DO want to be able to make a life for myself. I want to WANT to live.

TL;DR --- So I wanted to ask: have any of you moved states/countries(?) for your health? How did you keep fighting? How did you make a life?