I’m not new to this, we’ve been doing it steadily since COVID lockdown ended, like 4 years now & its been great, but lately I’ve really been struggling when she is out more than I ever have before.

My wife’s had 4 regular partners before this, and currently has a partner of about 6 mo. She only plays by herself and always has. She still tells me about stuff the same way she always has.

If I have to dig into how this is different, I guess the difference now is that she is involved in kink with this partner which was never a centerpiece of previous relationships, and maybe I’m a bit more intimidated by the guy himself than before but idk, not even really.

She’s stayed out longer before, has even gone on vacations, but man, nothing has hit me like this current situation and I’m not quite sure why or how to manage it. We are big on agency and freedom for her, that’s a huge part of it…and maybe I’m realizing that her choice where to spend her time really is with him. Idk. That said, it’s not even as emotional as other situations have been.

Idk, I’m rambling here trying to get my thoughts out because she is out tonight and tomm and it’s already a 13/10 on the angst scale a few hours in.

We talk about it and she’s reassuring and understanding. But ultimately I know it’s on me to manage my feelings.

Have any of you sort of gone through ups and downs in terms of jealousy and angst? Did it resolve on its own or did you have to make an effort / change to make it happen?

Any advice or support I’d really be thankful for.