Sex is built into our bodies and minds. How we express pleasure with one and other doesn't make one bi or heteroflexible. There is more too it than that. It is in part why I don't like the terms bi-sexual, bi-curious, bi-tease, or bi-furious (I made up the last two... longer story).

I have enjoyed pleasuring myself. I have enjoyed pleasuring or being pleasured by a woman. I also enjoy being pleasured by a man and actually prefer that to all other forms of sexual pleasure. I have had all of them happening at once and it can be mind blowing.

How we express our sexual pleasures has nothing to do with marriage. There are people who want to marry within the same sex. I have met women and men who are married to the same sex, but still have sex with the opposite gender.

So conceptually and to help people like the post author, let's be clear in what we mean.

• What gender(s) we want to have pleasure with.
• What gender we would prefer to marry.

These are two different things.

The key word in this original post is "relationship". Which I will substitute with marriage. You want to live with your husband in the home you have created for each other! That is wonderful! It has nothing to do with you enjoying the unique sexual experience that only a woman can create with you. Likewise, men are a completely different experience and likewise enjoyed.

Bottom line, don't judge yourself. If you have sex with a woman or another man it's great as long as you are honest and upfront and NEVER EVER lie to your spouse about it. In fact it will always be best if he or she is there with you!