I’m on half a bottle of 1800 or something so I can’t really fully organize or comprehend my feelings. I’m so sad… like two levels I had expressed my attraction to her to my roomate earlier this week and like, she willingly chose him over me. Like gosh that feels so shit. I just have to sit here and hear her enjoying herself like that’s a special kind of hurt. I know I should be an adult and just chuck it up as one of those life experiences but to sit through even the thought of it feels like hell.

I also wish my roommate had told me that was already chasing her, it was so callous and shady to just not even give me a heads up like I would never do that to you.