the main source of CPTSD in our family is our father, and while we love each other very much I don’t see myself getting on a consistent enough path to healing while living with people that also have the same erratic and unhealthy trauma responses that I do-only with comparably much less self awareness of them than I do. How can I release my past trauma from my body if we’re all just traumatizing each other constantly in a very similar fashion? Am I gonna spend every waking minute of my life doing breathwork and self-soothing? Fuck no 😭 I wish I had realized this before making the plans to live with them again but I just can’t do it anymore!!! My mom and I are very close, she’s a very emotionally intelligent person, but I really have no idea HOW I’ve deluded myself into thinking I can heal alongside a person that refues to acknowledge the ways they’ve traumatized me, and sends me straight into fight/flight/freeze mode with her Jekyll/Hyde behavior. I want to heal but I’m masking 24/7. I’m seriously concerned this is too much for my nervous system and that I’m at risk for developing some sort of cluster B disorder or something if things don’t improve. fuck man 😐😐😐😐 edit: we dont live w our dad and havent for a long time btw