I heard iris by the goo goo dolls and it made me feel sick.

He switched up as soon as his ex came back. He said he didn’t want to lead me on and fake it. He had sent me that song, but now all I can think of is that he will never get over her and he probably thinks of her anytime songs like that play. About longing for someone. They’re all about her.

I feel conned. In our last exchange I broke no contact to let him know that I could never fully close the door on him. He told me he will always love me and that he wants to be friends and dreams of bumping into me someday down the road.

Before we stopped talking he was saying things like he told his sister about the day we spent surfing and watching the sunset (and hooking up) although we were supposed to be seeing each other as friends. “Just friends” he would say.

I thought maybe he wanted time to get his shit together. I put pressure on him. But no, after we texted he told me he couldn’t talk about a future with me any further cause he slept with his ex twice. Once before we surfed and once after.

I don’t even know what to believe anymore. I don’t want him back. I feel like I never knew him. It was all a sick game to him. Or he tried to love me but couldn’t get over his ex. But yeah, every time I hear songs about missing someone or it’s always you or whatever, my mind just goes to him and his ex.

Please, if you’re not over your ex, be real. Don’t go around stringing other people along. I wish I never met him. I wish I had been spared from this.