Backstory: Bought a house with my now ex last summer. Huge manic episode with psychosis where they turned on me. Turns out they had cheated multiple times before we were looking for a house and then even after we completed. Apparently she has crashed now, I was hopeful for at least something to work with.

I am pissed off and need to vent to you guys. A week ago I had a catch up with her Dad about the house, we bought at the top of the market, and a new build which depreciates in value straight away. We are stuck in this mortgage for a while, she moved out after 5 days. I should say as well we bought in a town to be close to her family and friends and now I am 2.5 hour commute to work and 3 hours away from my family. She also blew all our savings too. Throughout our relationship she would take advantage of my financially, I paid for half of car while we together and thousands when I’d do all the shopping. Is selfishness a symptom of unmedicated bipolar?

I’ve tried to be respectful through this whole situation, even helped get her diagnosed and to A&E when her family had stuck her in rehab and were going to leave her homeless. There is no karma in helping someone in a manic episode while they abuse you, none.

I explained to the Dad that the estate agent said we won’t be able to sell for years, probably won’t make any money back unless we wait 5 years. Only suggestion was to improve the garden. He said it’s a good idea and she really should contribute. I agreed to take on additional debt via a loan and she could pay a small amount extra per month for a year, which I know she can afford. I follow up with him tonight and he says she didn’t pay it any attention, doesn’t want to know.

How I could have ever thought I loved someone capable of this type of behaviour is beyond me. I just can’t understand how you can be with someone who puts their entire life savings into a house with you and then you leave them broke and don’t want to know.

My biggest anxiety now is saving again for a new home as it’s a very real reality that 2 years down the line she stops paying her share of this mortgage even if it means us losing every penny we’ve put in. I am just an inconvenience to her now, a mistake of the past to never be seen or dealt with again.

How can I plan my financial future, she doesn’t care because she’s rich and ultimately when her dad passes away she gets a £1.5million pound home.

The levels of acceptance I’ve had to go through has been insane. First I accept that it happened, then we aren’t getting back together, then she still holds delusions I caused this, then the crash apparently does nothing and she’s still lying and disregards her responsibilities. Give me a break will ya universe? I thought the crash involved remorse? Apparently not.

The dad said he would speak to her again and I’ve asked him not to. It’s pointless. Speaking to many people on here I’ve made a theory that sometimes the manic episode is so severe that the illness progresses to where narcissistic traits just stay. Not for all, but I’ve read stories on here where some just become a nightmare.

I guess there is one silver lining, I’ve spent most my time in apathy, depression and grief. Now I’m angry, David Hawkins book letting go says moving to Anger temporarily can help you move up the emotional ladder quicker and I see that now.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate it when I see vents where people construe them as us being non compassionate. I still feel a lot of sadness for her and what she has and will go through. But I’ve given 6 months of patience and am trying to work with her as calmly as possible to ensure the least stress. Only ever about the house, not our relationship or how she gave me PTSD. This feels like my limit, it’s time to put her in my past for good somehow.

Thanks for listening. Anybody out there… I thought the crash to depression meant some reasonableness? It just feels like she’s still in manic denial while being depressed. I’m so confused…..

Is she just too far gone? Will she ever get clarity on the gravity of what she’s done to me and my life? After everything I did for her?