Hit the button too soon!

I am not the original poster. This is a repost.

Originally posted 9 years ago across a number of subs by u/incpregnantthrowaway.

Some light editing done for clarity.

Marked as "concluded" as OOP hasn't posted in 9 years.

TW: Incest

odd pregnancy questions [March 19 2013]

Long story short, I'm pregnant from my biological brother, and i have no idea what to. I don't want to go to the doctor and have them find out. I know there is physician-patient privilege, but does that cover this?

I don't know what to do and i am kind of scared, should I get a attorney, I am so confused.

Relevant Comments:

• When asked if it was consensual: I like how you assumed that he sexually assaulted me. Yes it was consensual, and and him did kind of intend for this, although, I should have figured all this stuff out before hand...
• I do treat him as a lover (married if we could), and I do require testing as there are risks associated with siblings having children. And I do want to keep it.
• I don't need tests to see if he is the father, I know he is. I am not ashamed of my relationship, I am simply afraid of me or him or both of us being put in jail or something. I do not care about judgment, and moving is completely out of the question due to his job.
• He makes a high 6 figure salary, and we are still young, so he has the potential to do much better. moving to a different state is not an acceptable solution, I'd likely abort before we did that.
• When asked her age: .I am an adult edit: and he is too, hes actually older than me

​

incestious pregnancy [March 19 2013]

I made a post to r/askreddit not long ago asking this question, but then it dawned on me to ask it here with more questions I have here.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1akuu4/odd_pregnancy_questions/

• Yes, I plan to go to the doctor later today, and no, I will not be saying anything about this whole situation until I speak with the attorney my brother trusts on Thursday.
• No, I am not aborting unless there will be known health issues for either me or my child. Which is why I will eventually (soon) need to tell medical professionals about all this.
• The father is my brother, everything was consensual and we are both adults between the ages of 20 and 30.
• We live in Missouri and are not in a position to move elsewhere if at all possible. I would abort if needed to avoid moving.

My questions, I'll be asking on Thursday too, I just want to get a feel for how all this is going to pan out.

• Are doctors required or likely to say or do anything in these cases.
• My brother has better health insurance than me, is is likely that his insurance would cover all the additional testing me and him would require. If getting insurance companies involved in all this would cause problems we can pay in cash.
• is it likely that we would ever be able to live "normally" without needing to hide behind legal shenanigans.
• If SHTF, what will happen to me and him legally. I understand that "committing incest" is a class D felony, what does that mean? I have never dealt with the law or cops before, so this really scares me a lot.

edit: I have decided to abort for the legal reasons and the overall evidence supplied below that it is likely that the baby would be born with birth defects (even though I am only ~75% sure they are right, mostly due to the small sample size, among other things).

Sorry if I turned this into a sob story or a silly discussion with little relevance to legal issues.

Relevant Comments:

• This comment sums up what a massive world of hurt OOP and her brother are in, if they do not abort. TLDR: Incest is still very illegal in a lot of places, it would not go well for either of them, and follow them for the rest of their lives. OOP lives in Missouri, which is a state that treated incest as a crime and will prosecute. It is a class E felony.
• Just going to use one comment as a blanket example. OOP defends incest and "her right" to incest the entire thread: I don't care if people want to have sex with their relatives, I just don't like it when it is encouraged. I am perfectly fine with it as long as it "just happens", just how you find some other person on the street, or at the mall or in a bar. I don't see incest as something you want to have (i didn't choose to be attracted to my brother), I see it as something that just happens. Although I still don't see why people even get off on incest, or why there is such a huge fascination with it, whether it be positive or negative.

​

I am in a relationship with my brother, who impregnated me [March 20 2013]

Yesterday and the day before, I was the topic of fine intellectual discussion on /r/legaladvice and /r/subredditdrama, which I think got way out of hand.

Several people have PMed me to "tell my story", however I don't know what exactly it is that people want to know, so post your questions below and later today I will answer them after my brother gives me the okay.

edit: I am done answering questions for today and I can't tomarrow. But if there are any good questions I see, I will probably answer them Friday.

Thanks for being mostly respectful of my situation, and thanks for the support you guys have given me. It feels good to talk about all this and have no worries of being found out and sent to Alcatraz or something. I do apologize for some of my initial statements, they were a bit hasty and rash.

Celany's note: I am going to include OOP's story as to how it got started, as it was a comment on this post:

Disclaimer: If you are looking for a sex story, look elsewhere.

There was a comment in one of the linked posts that describes exactly how and why I choose to be with my brother. It was something along the lines of "How could you do that with someone you knew when you were a baby."

When we were younger (~5-10), we would go out into the woods and play around all day. And we would really often play video games together. Me and him are both fairly nerdy I guess you could say. We did not think much of it, but I think being "best friends" at that time is what placed the catalyst inside me.

When we were in our teens, we did not really get along, but we still played video games somewhat often.

It was in my later teen years that I starting feelings things for him. I was not sure at first what it was, but eventually I knew it was because I was in love with him. I did not know that society thought being with your brother was wrong at that time, but I still knew enough that I should keep it a secret. In one of my biology classes the topic of incest was brought up by one of the students, and what the students said about it crushed me. I'm glad my teacher did not say any negative things about it, it gave me just enough strength to not break down in the middle of class. I thought that it would only be natural for me to want to be with him, as he is the one who I grew up with. We ate, lived and played together for our whole lives, how could I possibly trust anyone else to spend my life with.

I ran away into the woods and cried that night, I just wanted to die.

I started feeling jealous when he would talk to other girls, and when he got to be a senior I wanted nothing more than to be his date. Obviously this would never happen, but I deluded myself into the fantasy.

I can't say what arrangements were like after high school as that would make it easy to identify us, but he did stay around, and for that I was grateful. I too graduated and had similar plans to him after high school, so he offered to let me live with him.

At night we would sit on the couch together and watch movies. We still played games too, sometimes. Over time we kind of got closer I guess. Eventually, he broke up with his girlfriend. I don't know why, but he did, but it made me really happy. Nothing really changed much between us.

His situation changed again, and he decided he wanted to buy a house. And he wanted me to help him pick. I got all kinds of crazy thoughts, and now that I think about it, in my head I was like that OAG.

I don't know what told me to say this but, I asked him if I could kiss him. He got fairly red and didn't say anything, but later that night he did ask me if I wanted to go anywhere for fun. He took us downtown and we had dinner. I never got the kiss, but he did hug me. It made me feel so good, that I had the privilege of being here for him. I wish I could say that he took my virginity that night. I actually cried over that in private.

Soon after (maybe a month or so) things were made more official when we bought 2 more houses under my name and his name to throw off any possible suspicion. He eventually gave me a ring, I loved it so much, and I still do today. It is magnetic, so anytime we hold hands they get pulled toward each other. I don't how he knew that I did not want a traditional ring or why he chose this particular piece, but it is my most cherished possession now.

For the most part after that point, I saw him as my person of comfort, trust, love and partnership. I don't know what it feels like to be with someone else, hes the only one I have ever been this close to. Being forced to leave him would rip me to shreds. It scares me and makes me angry every time I hear discussion making it out to be that my relationship with him is abusive, wrong or otherwise illegitimate. It takes every ounce of strength I have to just walk away.

If there is an area anyone wants more detail in, just ask and I may answer. Keep in mind that it takes a while to respond with any length as I read over my replied multiple times to screen out identifying details.

Relevant Comments:

• How old are they: between 20 & 30.
• When did the relationship start: I don't remember exactly (the date) when we started, but it was after we moved in together. Yes, we still have a sexual relationship, we do a couple times a month. Sometimes more sometimes less I guess.
• Do they just have sex, or a real relationship: I guess, we go out and do things fairly often (~10 times a month). We can't travel far enough to be sure nobody we might possibly know would be around so we act how we want, but we still have a good time. I don't care to classify my relationship with him, as me and him do what we want.
• Does anybody know: Our mother might be, so we try to avoid contact with her.
• Was the pregnancy planned: Not "planned" exactly, but rather intentional. If it were planned, I would not be answering these questions right now... I wanted a baby, so I asked and he agreed. So I stopped taking the pill.
• Can you handle a long-term relationship with your brother without kids: I don't know, I am not even sure if I am fit to have a kid, adopted or not. I am seriously considering making myself talk to professionals before making any more decisions involving children. I think he does want a kid.
• I do care a lot about him, and it would seem that way because he keep a lot of his feelings and emotions bottled up a guess. This is probably due to work related stress, so I just try to be the best I can. I know he cares about me in a similar way to how I care for him. He shows it every day when he holds me while we play games or when we go out and act sort of like a couple (nothing obvious, just in case). It's just hard to put it into words, and I do not feel comfortable speaking for him or putting words in his mouth.
• Why do you think your mother knows: I can't say much about this matter as my mother is very much technically competent and it would not surprise me if she was on reddit. She has never commented on us or even asked my brother or myself why we do not have partners. I don't know how she would react if we explicitly said so. I have considered asking him if we should, I think we should wait some more and look for additional signs before going further with that. Although we don't see her very often, so it probably doesn't matter much. I will not talk about any of my other family, including our father.

recent events [April 02 2013]

Post deleted by mods, but seems to be about information about OOP's dad being in prison and dying by suicide. Also mentions the dad "cross dressing", but is unclear if dad was trans or enjoyed drag or something else. OOP seems to indicate that if OOP's dad was trans, the family would not have judged him/her for it.

OOP also mentions going to a psychologist.

Relevant Comment:

• The psychologist does not give me many clues on how they feel about it [the relationship with her brother] . Although they did ask a lot of questions about it and I did notice them looking at me closely when they thought I would not notice. I am guessing to make sure there was no abuse taking place. To be more specific, the psychologist did show signs of agitation. I noticed the eye twitch and they became visibly more defensive. I don't think a normal person would have picked it up. But overall the psychologist is very professional and I am glad to have them. I probably should not say this next bit, but I will probably print this all out and give it to them the next time, so why not. The last session I had, I am guessing was to gauge the exact nature of my relationship. It made me feel like I was being challenged, and that I had to defend my feelings for my brother.

a quick update about [April 18 2013]

Just an update for those that are interested (that and to help sort out my feelings and emotions). See my post and comment history if you want more information.

My brother did end up seeing my psychologist after quite a bit of convincing. After he went he did tell me that he did feel a little better, which is quite amazing since he usually never just tells me how he feels. He said that this is probably what he needed for some time. I think so too, given his very stressful job, and the whole situation with me, I am glad he feels good.

Overall I feel a lot better than before as well. I feel a lot more free, and his more open attitude makes me like him more. My overall impression of our relationship has moved more toward the direction of being like spouses.

I am not sure how I feel about that exactly. In the past I have never really bothered to think about us and who we were toward each other. He has always felt like a person who would always be by my side. It always felt a lot like we were really close siblings, which I like a lot. And I will really miss the feeling of him being my brother. However, I have always wanted to be something like a wife for him. I don't know, I'll just not worry about it for now and see where we go from here. As long as we are both happy, it should not matter.

Thanks for your time.

Relevant Comments:

• Commenter asks OOP if the psychologist gave advice on her relationship with her brother? And what the psychologist said to OOP's brother: I don't know anything about sessions between the psychologist and my brother. We are keeping these things private, even between each other. However, for me, they more or less guide me and my emotions and whatever else to a fairly broad conclusion. It is very relaxing. And most problems I have don't seem to have anything to do with my relationship with my brother. Although there is still a lot of stress with it, however the stress is not from him.
• Commenter also asks if the relationship is hard to hide: I am a fairly serious and private person, so no one really ever asks me about personal details. For example, I have never used a social media/network site (it always seemed really creepy to me to make available details about myself to the world). I do not feel obligated to tell anyone anything about myself, mostly colleagues. I don't know how to describe my relationships with people outside of work. I do not associate with others without a clear purpose, however I do have fun being around them and doing our fun tasks and stuff together. Since most of them are really weird, and have no interest outside of why we get together, we do not talk much about personal stuff. I guess you could say that choosing this is kind of lonely to a "normal" person, but I don't feel that way, my best friend has for the most part always been my brother. We genuinely share a lot of interests, one being cryptography, as you might guess from some of my recent comments. We also like gaming (Nintendo especially) and consuming media like movies and TV shows together, among other stuff. I don't find much stress in the way you might think of it. Again, it does not bother me to be to be very secretive with colleagues, but it really bothers me a lot that I can't be affectionate in public with him. I honestly would love to show him off, I think he is very charming, and I find him to be very attractive (a very objective analysis).
• We [brother and sister] were always private, we were raised that way. I think both me and him have some fairly big trust issues for others besides each other and our mother.

​

We Told Her [May 23 2013]

It has been awhile since I last posted, but I have something to post that may be of interest to some of you.

This "news" is a bit old, from a week ago. My bother and me decided to tell our mother about our relationship (Not exactly, but whatever). I am feeling very mixed about it. I am kind of glad I did, but at the same time I wish I hadn't.

It all started around Mother's Day, we went to visit, which is kind of uncommon for us at this time, even though we don't live more than 30 minutes away. Anyway, she was very happy to see us when we visited, and we both like seeing her happy. We took her out to a somewhat nice place she likes (she is very fiscally conservative and would not let us spend a lot of money on her), and we took her to another more calm and casual lace. I think we made a little bit of a mistake of being too close and friendly with each other, because she was looking at as different than when we first saw her that day. But I am very paranoid so it could have just been a natural adjustment from just being around us.

When we departed, I brought it up with my brother, and he thought about it for a bit and kind of agreed with me. This brought up the idea of just telling her, which at the time I was about 70% against it. I could tell that he was not completely against the idea either, which made me more inclined to go for it.

On the way over to her house the next weekend, we brought up the idea of telling her again. We both agreed that, we should probably tell her, for reasons unknown, but it would probably be best that we did not say anything. We arrived and she was happy to see us, although her initial reaction was slightly different (probably just natural, but I am very paranoid). We went to some random buffet in her area to talk and catch up. She seemed very interested in us, and very happy that we were doing well in our pursuits and careers. Hindsight 20/20, she seemed preoccupied during all of this.

We went back to her house and talked some more and watched some TV for a bit. She seemed obviously distracted. Then she started staring at my ring and I saw her beginning to cry. It was the first time I ever seen either of my parents cry. I asked her what was wrong. She did not respond, but by this time it was fairly obvious she knew. I had no idea what to say. I just held my brother's hand and hoped that she would not hate us and tell us to never see her again.

After a little bit of her crying it did not seem like it was us specifically she was sad or disappointed at. My brother asked her what was wrong. She didn't want to really say anything about it, but he convinced her to. He has always had a little bit closer of a relationship to her than me.

It actually turned out that she had a brother who died when he was 16, she was 14 at that time. She said we reminded her of him and her, and she had feelings for him. However, she was never able to tell him. When he died, she never wanted to think of it again. She confirmed that she suspected that we were together, but only recently (since Mother's Day) was she sure. She did not say what she thought of us, but she has not treated us any different since.

That is all I can write for now, I am feeling "off".

Relevant Comments:

• I don't know, but I feel so bad. But she is a great mother, and it really bothered me to see her cry. We will see her again this weekend hopefully. I had no idea that she had a brother, but I can understand why she got upset. I would feel like her if I lost my brother.

Reminder: I am not the original poster. Originally posted 9 years ago across a number of subreddits.

ps: Hi Y'all! TLDR of my life: Work got crazy, we did some TNR (trap/neuter/release) and ended up with a young adult cat we're trying to socialize. So now 3-5 hours of my day goes to that every day. I'm hoping to post at least occasionally again.