I am not the original poster. This a repost.

The original poster is u/throwaway33245342 on r/relationships

I [24m] had a threesome with my girlfriend [24f] and now she wants to have sex with another guy, because I had sex with another girl.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ent6r/i_24m_had_a_threesome_with_my_girlfriend_24f_and/

My girlfriend was the one who suggested to me a threesome. At first I wasn't sure if she was serious, but when I found out she was, I was pretty ecstatic. I never thought there could be an ulterior motive.

I'd never known her to be bi or anything like that, and she still identifies as a straight girl. But she seemed keen to experiment and "open up" as she put it. So I was only happy to go along.

The other girl was an acquaintance we only loosely know, and we see her every now and again. My girlfriend knows her better than I do, and she's the one who set most of it up.

When we had the threesome, it seemed fun for all of us, and I feel I should point out that it wasn't just me who was having sex with this other girl, but my girlfriend who also having sex with her and doing stuff with her on the day.

Now here's where things get messy. About a week later, my girlfriend comes up with a new proposition. She asks me that since I got to have sex with another girl, if she can have sex with another guy. She said its only fair, since I got to have sex with a girl outside the relationship, she gets to have sex with a guy. (edit: Details in case of confusion. She suggested either a MMF threesome, or just her plus another guy, whichever I'd be most amenable to).

I instantly said absolutely no, it was out of the question. I pointed out to her that the threesome was for both of us, not just me. And it wasn't just I who had sex with someone outside of our relationship, but she did as well, with the same person, so its fair and even. I said it shouldn't matter if this other person was same sex or opposite sex.

What's more, I said that when she proposed the threesome, at no point did she suggest, mention, or imply, this would mean she'd be able to try somebody else.

I feel like the whole threesome was a set-up so she could afterwards push the issue of having sex with another guy. And I'm pretty sure she has a guy lined up in mind, it sure sounded like it.

So I'm pretty obstinate about "No", she can't have sex with someone else. She thinks I'm being unfair, and maintains the position that she should be allowed to, since I had sex with the that girl in the threesome (even though she also had sex with her).

I feel like I was manipulated, used, and set up. Part of me fears she's going to go and cheat with the other guy anyway, even though I said no. For this reason I'm strongly considering ending our relationship now and going our separate ways. Although personally I'd prefer we settle this in a way without her cheating and without ending our relationship.

I'm not interested in an open relationship or a fuckbuddy situation or anything like that. The threesome was fun, but I don't want to do that too regularly.

tl;dr: Had threesome with another girl and girlfriend, at the girlfriend's suggestion. Girlfriend is using that threesome to now try to leverage being able to sleep with another guy. I said no, since we never agreed on that in the first place, and anyway we both had sex with the girl in the threesome, not just me. Would like a way to settle this without breaking up the relationship, and without her resorting to cheating on me.

Relevant Comments:

• When someone posted " Do keep in mind for things like this that if you're willing to have a threesome with ur gf and another girl you should also be willing to do it with gf and another guy, otherwise it's a bit hypocritical in my opinion.", OP responded with: It's not at all hypocritical, here's why: In the threesome with me, my gf, and the other girl, not only did I have sex with the other girl, but so did my gf. My gf had sex with someone else, I had sex with someone else. In a threesome with another guy, I would not have sex with another guy, nor do I want to. So it would be me having sex with my girlfriend, and my girlfriend having sex with me, plus her having sex with another guy. I've already had sex with another person, she's already had sex with another person. The way I see it, she wants to have sex with another person a second time.

• I'm not attracted to guys and there's nothing sexually I'd want to do with a guy, whereas (from what she told me) she wanted to experiment with girls. Why is it that nobody understands that? If I was bi, it would be a different story, but I'm not.

  Update: I [24m] had a threesome with my girlfriend [24f] and now she wants to have sex with another guy, because I had sex with another girl.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3fesvo/update_i_24m_had_a_threesome_with_my_girlfriend/

Original post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3ent6r/i_24m_had_a_threesome_with_my_girlfriend_24f_and/

I got a few requests for an update, so I thought I'd post one. Pretty much what everyone suggested would happen, we broke up. It wasn't nice though.

Honestly, I've been kind of regretting the threesome because more and more I feel like I was strongly manipulated; lead into believing it would be just no-strings fun whereas it was actually a vehicle for her to have sex with another guy.

I sat her down and said to her clearly, I've been thinking about her proposition, and she can have sex with the guy if she tells me who it is, and she has to be honest about if she had this person in mind from the start when she suggested it.

She became ecstatic to hear about this, and told me the person was "Adam." I know "Adam", I've met him a few times, he works at the same place she does.

"I thought Adam is married" I said

"He is, but he and his wife are swingers" she tells me.

I then tell her "like I said, you are free to have sex with Adam as much as you want, but our relationship is over."

She then freaked out at what I said as she slowly realised I was serious and was ending the relationship out of the blue, she wasn't expecting it at all. At first she thought I was kidding, then she became really angry at me and started shouting and going crazy. She said all sorts of nasty things and told me I lied to her, deceived her, etc. because I had sex with another woman but won't let her have sex with another man.

I told her she's free to have sex with him now, because our relationship is over, and I don't want to be in a relationship with a woman who very clearly lusts after another man.

I then said to her something along these lines "I feel like you manipulated me when you suggested the threesome; you said you just wanted to experiment but you were really trying to use it as leverage so you could have sex with another man. If I had known that was your ulterior motive, I never would have agreed to it. What you did was dishonest and manipulative."

Of course, she wasn't too happy to hear this. There was much tears and anguish from her part, but she accepted it eventually. I started getting texts the next day from her, she was apologising profusely, saying she was sorry, she didn't want to sleep with another man, she regrets suggesting the threesome, and she just wants to continue her relationship with me.

I said to her something about us being "sexual incompatible", but honestly I felt like I was just giving her a bullshit excuse. The real reason was that I didn't want a woman that so desperately wanted to have sex with another guy, that she would even manipulate me towards that goal.

I keep getting more texts from her and missed calls, angry ones, apologetic ones, crying ones, and furious ones. Since she didn't seem to get the message that we're through, I'm just ignoring her now. Honestly, I'm really happy with my decision, no regrets. I feel like I've let go of some negative baggage, and I'm already excited about moving on with my life and pursuing future relationships.

tl;dr: We broke up.