I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/searching_for_story. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole

Trigger Warning: severe injury due to a drunk driver

Mood Spoiler: communication wins! But also don't fucking drive drunk

Original Post: November 1, 2023

I (17 F) am so over my brother's (18 m) attitude. My brother was born with a chronic condition where he has to use forearm crutches. He can sometimes get around without them, but he needs them whenever he goes out.

When we moved to our home, he got the bedroom on the main floor and I took the upstairs one, because stairs were way easier for me.

A few months ago, I was hit by a drunk driver while driving home from an event. The accident was pretty bad, but thankfully, everyone lived. I was very injured in the accident, and am now wheelchair bound for the foreseeable future. Doctors are hopeful I'll regain full control over my legs, but it's too early to really know.

Because of this, my parents told my brother that he would have to take the upstairs room, because I literally cannot get up there without my dad carrying me/literally crawling.

He was not thrilled with this, and flipped out, yelling about how it was too hard for him to use the stairs every day.

I'm sympathetic to his struggles, but we only have the two bedrooms for us, and i quite literally cannot use the stairs. My mom offered that we could share a room, but his room is already tiny, and will be a tight fit for me and him, two beds, and my wheelchair, and he also hated the idea.

This morning he was complaining about how awful it was that my parents were making their disabled child go up a full flight of stairs every morning and night, and I snapped at him, telling him that not everything is about him and his disability. He seemed quiet and mad for the rest of the day. I did apologize for being kind of harsh, but he just walked off.

My parents are looking into getting some type of chair lift for the stairs, but they're really expensive, so it will be a while before we can get one. AITA?

Relevant Comments:

You didn't mention if your dad would help your brother up the stairs:

"that's my bad. my parents are super willing to help my brother upstairs on his bad days, but it's still overall inconvenient for either of us to be upstairs."

Is there only one room downstairs that can act as a bedroom?

"there's my parents bedroom, but the room upstairs can't fit a double bed for them, and my brother doesn't really want to share a room with my parents"

"theres a living room, but it's open, with no door. maybe we could install a curtain or something though, and I could go in there"

The post is voted NAH

Update: November 3, 2023 (Same Post, 2 days later)

I talked with my parents and brother, and I think we're going to be okay. We're now planning on renovating our living room into a bedroom (adding a door and stuff). For now, we're putting up a curtain, and I'll be staying in there, so my brother can have his old room back. (the curtain is a super temporary solution, and im fine with it as long as its temporary.)

I talked some with my brother about how we've been feeling. He has been stressed that now that I also need help, maybe his needs wont get met. And I felt like he wasn't being understanding of the huge change I'm going through right now. I was hoping my brother and I could get closer through this hard time, and bond over our shared struggles. I wasn't feeling supported by him, and lashed out, which wasn't fair to him.

We brought these concerns to my parents, and they talked with my brother. They promised him that he can always tell them if he feels his needs aren't being met. My parents don't want him to feel like a secondary priority.

Things are good between my brother and I now. He gets why I lashed out, and I apologized to him. I think we're going to be okay.