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I am not the Original Poster (OP). Originally posted 5 years ago by u/dogpoopthrowaway9 on r/relationship_advice.
My boyfriend of 4 years has been collecting and freezing our dogs poo (30 Nov 2018)
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We have lived together for two. A few months ago we adopted a dog who is about 1 year old. Heās very healthy and loving, well trained, a perfect dog.
My boyfriend has a so called āman caveā in our house. Itās untidy so I donāt really go in there. He has a fridge and freezer there which I assumed was for drinks and snacks.
Today I had some friends over and we ran out of beer so I went to his man cave to see if he had any in his freezer. Turns out he didnāt, but he did have a whole fuckload of my dogs poo in there. Frozen. It looks like heās been collecting it for a month. Thereās like 60 bags of poo.
What the fuck??
How do I confront him about this and ask whatās going on? Why would he be freezing my dogs poo??? My dog has nothing wrong with him so thereās no reason his poo needs to be preserved. No one has told us to do this. Wtf?
Tl;dr my bf has been collecting and freezing my dogs poo. What the hell?
Relevant Comments:
- OOP: Heās been under a lot of stress recently so I wanted to make sure there wasnāt some obvious explanation before I go in asking him wtf is happening, and he isnāt home for a few hours and I was curious as hell. But alas there is no explanation other than a prank. Iāll update when heās home and we talk. Fuckin weird.
- OOP: Thereās like over 50 doggy bags. He must have been collecting for a while. My dog poops twice a day but letās say half the time I manage to get to it first, so he must have been collecting for at least 2 months?! Unless heās been separating the poo into different bags?!
- Commenter: This may sound kind of odd, but how do you know it was your dog's poo? Size..? I mean I have a Doberman so he poops a bit bigger than probably what a human does, so I'm assuming you have a big dog too?OOP: Size (small) and, well, how it looks. When my dog poops (and Iām there to pick it up) I look quickly to make sure itās healthy etc so I know what it looks like. Maybe thatās weird but hey Iām not keeping it...
Update in post, 4 hours later
So my bf came home and I pretty much asked him what the heck he was doing with frozen poo. After an initial non-reaction he put his head in his hands and started to laugh. He explained that his friend from uni is moving to town. His friend and him had an ongoing tradition of gross as hell pranks. Theyāve been in touch recently just catching up before the move and his friend sent a box of bird crap to my bf disguised as a box of chocolates. I didnāt know about this. Anyway my bf wanted to get him back by sending him a welcome to town gift from my friends new ābossā of āsteaksā, which he would drop off at his house prior to him arriving. By the time his friend arrived, the steak box would have defrosted, friend would open the box from his ābossā and he would open it to just find... our dogs poop.
Like, Iām glad heās not eating it I guess???? The prank is weird, and he didnāt tell me because he knew Iād think it was gross and didnāt think Iād want to be involved. Which I donāt, really. But Iām so relieved I just told him to send 30 bags instead of his confirmed 65. Now I can get rid of the rest.
Iāve also told him to keep me updated on future pranks so I donāt end up thinking heās secretly snacking on our pups butt nuggets.
Reminder: I am not the Original Poster (OP). Originally posted 5 years ago by u/dogpoopthrowaway9 on r/relationship_advice.
Yes, it is haunted by poop. It will never be decontaminated from the shit spirits. There is no exorcism powerful enough, not even one done by the Trailer Park Boys themselves.
š¤®š¤®š¤®
I went and found a copy & paste barf emoji for PC, just to respond to this comment.
RIP Dutch oven.
I think "the whispering winds of shit" is my all-time favorite line. His delivery too, it's just...perfect.
I understand that they're all actors and all, but how they said some of that shit without dying laughing is beyond me.
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I would never want anything that had been in that freezer. I don't care if it's bags, I believe in cooties and that freezer has dog poop cooties now.