I am not the original poster. Originally posted by u/batmanandrobin123 in 2016 on r/JUSTNOMIL & r/legaladvice.

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I Need Serious Help (JUSTNOMIL) (14 Aug 2016)

I posted two other posts about my MIL that was affectionately named Meltdown Molly. There wasn't much going on until today.

DH ran a credit report and found out his credit score was 450. Needless to say we were shocked. We had no idea how his credit score had gotten so low. We looked at the details and lo and behold, 13 credit cards were taken out in his name with debts that amounted to $10,000 by... you guessed it MIL. He called MIL on the phone and she admitted to taking out the credit cards in her name and racking up the debt.

I don't even know what else to type because I am literally floored. I have no idea what to do, think, say, anything. I feel so lost and just like I need so much help.

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(Illinois) Husband's Parents Took Out Credit Cards in His Name (legaladvice) (15 Aug 2016)

We recently ran a credit score for my husband and found out his credit score was at 540 because his parents had taken out 13 credit cards in his name and racked up $10,000 in credit card debt on them over the past 6 years, with the most recent being opened in August 2015. They are only making the minimum payments on them. He was able to get access to the accounts online because his mom uses the same password for everything. The accounts were being paid from their bank account. The credit cards had been used for things like gas, "gifts", phone bills, hospital bills, etsy, etc.

Let me start this off by saying his dad makes about $100,000 a year but they live well above their means. We confronted his parents on the phone and they admitted that they took out the credit cards in his name. They said they didn't have enough money to pay all of the credit cards back right now but they would start paying $800 a month on them starting in October instead of the minimum they were doing before ($26/month/card).

Husband doesn't want his parents to go to jail for identity theft, but I don't feel comfortable being at their mercy regarding whether or not they pay. We are also worried that we might not have enough evidence and that they could just say that all the credit cards were his or that he knew about them. Husband really doesn't want to take them to court but I'm not sure what options we have.

I feel like it might be important to note that his parents hate us and never want to speak to us again, so we don't really have any reason to believe that they would do what they say they're going to except for the fact that they've been paying on them for 6 years.

I'm really just looking for advice on what different options we have, what those would entail, whether or not we would have to file criminal charges to get the money from them, etc.

Edited to add: Husband's parents still have his social security number memorized and even pulled up a credit report on their own in his name last night. Is there anything we can do about this? Husband suggested legally changing his name but not sure that would work.

Thank you in advance.

Relevant Comments:

• OOP: Husband lived with his parents when most of this activity had taken place. Does that matter since the bills were going in his name to the place where he lived? That's how she was opening the cards because an offer would come in the mail and she'd send it back in or open it online.
• Commenter: The only options you have are to agree to allow your husband's parents to pay down the debt at a pace they can or to file a police report for identity theft and sue in small claims court for the financial ramifications. You have no other options here. It will not be easy for them to get out of this, it will be fairly easy for you to show you never took these credit cards out & they are the only ones who have used them.

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I Need Serious Help (An Update) (15 Aug 2016)

Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my post yesterday. I think it's obvious from the post that I was very distraught yesterday for a lot of reasons.

DH's parents took out 13 credit cards in his name and racked up $10,000 effectively ruining his credit score for the next 5 years, at least. They have done a lot of awful things to us in the past, but this really takes the cake.

After we found out about what was going on, we called his parents to see what they would say and shit hit the fan. I probably shouldn't have talked to them at all because at that point I was FUMING, but we really felt like we needed answers to what was going on.

I will admit that I yelled at them and said some very not nice (a bit of an understatement) things on the phone. We started the conversation talking about the debt and we barely said 3 sentences about it before they turned the whole thing around. The conversation went on for 30 minutes, halfway through which DH had a panic attack and only about 2 minutes actually consisted of them talking about the fact that they had racked up all that debt and stolen his identity. I will add some highlights of the conversation

• "the money is not the issue, the real issue is your wife (me)"
• "ever since you married batman no one wants to be around you"
• "if she was a good wife she would want you to be around your family"
• "she is a bad wife because she is filling your head with lies about us"
• (at this point I mentioned the abuser language they were using) "what? you're making that up. where did you get that from? you are crazy."
• "you will not be able to go to your grandparents' funerals because of your wife." (his grandparents are in great health by the way)
• "your mother has done nothing but love you and she gets treated this way"

They went on and on for 30 minutes, during which I'll admit that I yelled at them quite a bit and lost my temper, mostly because I was mad that all they were doing was talking about me and not the fact that they stole his identity.

I ended the conversation by saying "we just need to know a few things 1. did you take out the credit cards?" "Yes." "2. are you going to pay them back?" "Yes." "3. how are you going to do that?" "My car gets paid off in October so I'll pay $800 a month starting then."

DH really doesn't want to press charges against them, but I have no reason to believe that they will pay the money back except for the fact that they said they would. I post on legal advice and they said that pretty much the only way to save DH's credit is to file for identity theft, but DH doesn't want his parents to go to jail, and once you file identity theft, that is up to the government.

One big thing that I am worried about is that last night they pulled up a credit report for DH on their own, meaning they have all of the access to all of his financial information at their fingertips and are willing to use it.

Like I said, DH is pretty adamant about not filing charges, but I don't know how else we can protect ourselves from them doing this again or tracking our financial whereabouts for the rest of our lives.

I'm sure some of you have dealt with in laws knowing a social security number. What did you do about it or how did it affect you? Unfortunately we can't just make them un-know his social security number.

This whole thing just feels like I'm living in a nightmare.

Edited to add: Thank you so much to everyone who responded. DH and I are filing a police report for identity theft. I think the things some of you said really got through to him. We are filing the police report when he gets off work, then going to the bank to change accounts to one she does not know (this was the account he got when he was a minor and just kept it open) and getting him a new phone number. We are going 100% no contact with them and letting the police deal with it now. I am hoping that DH stays true to his word and have faith that he will. At this point, I am terrified that they are going to do something to us after they found out we have gone to the police. I feel like I don't know what they are capable of anymore. I really am just scared.

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MIL and Identity Theft Update (16 Aug 2016)

I am going to be completely honest with you all. I am really starting to wonder if we are doing the right thing. We went to the police station last night and filed a police report. It was honestly just awful. The police officer kept trying to talk us out of it and saying that if we did it, his mother would be going to prison. This isn't a direct quote but he said something like, "this isn't just a tool to get this stuff off of your record. This will put criminal charges against her."

Husband and I kind of just looked at each other, but in the end he went through with the police report.

I have felt nothing but sick since we found out about all of this. Now I'm starting to feel like we shouldn't have gone through with the police report. His parents are texting him saying that they have the money and that they are going to pay back all of the accounts now, and that if we go through with the charges they are going to go to prison and lose their jobs. I don't even know if we could retract the police report if we wanted to.

I know that this identity theft case is going to be a horrible stressor to our lives and connect us to his parents even longer. I am sure that they are going to try to say that DH knew about the accounts and that he gave them permission and I'm starting to worry that people will listen to them. We called the credit card companies to report the fraud and they told us the charges and a lot of them were things that were "gifts" to DH along with bills and other things. I am worried that because DH benefited from the fraud because his parents bought things for him with it, that they will use that in court against us and say that DH knew and gave them permission. One of the charges was for tires for DH's car that they gifted to him. He dropped the car off at the dealer and picked it up. His mom went in to pay, but he was the one who dropped it off. I am just so worried that they are going to lie to turn this against DH and that someone will believe them. We really don't have much proof except what is on the cards and that they were the ones making the payments.

We live in a state where we can't record phone conversations so we can't try to get them to admit it.

I am starting to regret all of this. I wish we could just go back to Saturday when we had no idea about any of this and we were happy. I am feeling so miserable and depressed and cannot get out of this funk. We absolutely cannot afford to go to therapy right now in case DH gets put on the hook for all of these charges but I don't know what to do to make either of us feel better.

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MIL and Identity Theft Update (8 Months Later) (24 April 2017)

If you check my post history, you will see that I had a serious issue with my MIL and her stealing my husband's identity about 8 months ago. A lot has happened since then, and I felt like those of you that helped me out deserved an update.

Since then, we did a lot of fighting with MIL and FIL, most of which I don't remember. We decided against filing charges, and instead hired a lawyer. The lawyer wrote up some lawyer stuff I don't understand, which basically stated that they had until March 2017 to pay off the debt, plus the fees for our lawyer. They agreed to it without any contest, probably because they didn't want to go to jail and thought they could still salvage a relationship with their son. Since then, they have paid back ALL of the money (most of it with large sums of money, which makes me wonder why they needed the cards in the first place?), and my husband's credit has increased quite a bit.

My husband made the decision that he no longer wanted a relationship with his parents, which I supported him in wholeheartedly. Our decision was to never see or speak to his family again, but when my husband's niece died (their granddaughter), we felt as though we should at least go to the funeral. We saw them then, where they acted like nothing happened and that everything was okay. We let them have their moment due to the tragedy of the loss the family was suffering.

They have invited us to various holidays since then, but we have not responded. We haven't seen them since the funeral, and don't plan on seeing them again. I'm not sure what husband would decide to do in the event of another funeral, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I want to thank everyone at justnomil for all of their support in helping my husband and I get through one of the most difficult times of our lives. Everything is exponentially better now, and I am so happy that we decided to go no contact. 10/10 would do again.

Reminder: I am not the original poster. Originally posted by u/batmanandrobin123 in 2016 on r/JUSTNOMIL & r/legaladvice.

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