I hadn't cut for about 8 months. Well I relapsed tonight. I've been dealing with really bad depression for a week and my boyfriend said he was mad at me and I asked why and he went to sleep so.. it wasn't because of that that was just the last straw.

My mom had spent the night invalidating all the trauma I went through in childhood claiming that the abuse I suffered wasn't real and I make shit up.

Also the not good enough feeling has been hitting hard lately. I have no energy to do anything so I feel useless. I make a mess and can't clean it up I feel worse but I can't get myself to do much lately. I'm not making any money so I just feel bad all the time.

My birthday is in six days and I'm honestly wondering if I'm going to spend it in a mental health facility. I just feel so shitty. I can't cope anymore, so I cut.

I don't know what to do. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow so at least there's that. I guess I just have to sleep until then.