28F - I’m just so sick of not feeling good enough.

When I was younger I dreamed of getting married, having a family and children. I’m turning 30 next year and I’ve still never met anyone that wants me as more than a brief fling.

I’ve done all the things that are meant to make you happy and develop as an individual - I gave up drinking alcohol, I stopped smoking, I’ve lost weight and only weigh 59kg, I’ve gone solo travelling, I’ve been to 4 different therapists and you know what after all this.

I’m still alone, miserable and hopeless. I don’t think this will ever get better. Everyone I met travelling had holiday romances and I’ve not even been on a date for almost a year.

I’ve felt like this for years and tbh I just don’t even see this getting better - if I’ve not been good enough to commit to before, I can’t imagine anyone would want to now I’ve got wrinkles and age spots.

I used to be passionate about my career but I have no desire to do further study anymore as it just doesn’t excite me. I’m fed up of having to congratulate everyone else’s success and celebrate their life milestones which I’ll never achieve…

I don’t even want to see all 7 continents no more as I’m so tired of doing everything alone and no one to share it with.

Honestly I’ve given myself one year and if nothing changes I will throw myself in front of a train