Very recently I've been experiencing episodes of rage. Just so much anger that has nowhere to go i just end up crying. Why the hell will i go through the shit load of stuff I've been through just to come out bruised and battered and seeking the end of my life. Why do i have to find myself in a hospital because i can no longer keep myself safe from myself. I already had a terrible childhood where's my light at the end of the tunnel. "It'll be better" i told myself while i cried myself to sleep. "I'll be a grown up one day. I'll leave this place start a new life and I won't hurt anymore" Guess what, i didn't get better i got worse! I was pushed to the very last of my wits. Oh how unfair life is. What did i ever do to them? How can an innocent child just struggling to survive deserve this. Now i have to deal with the endless stigma and pain for something I'm not responsible for. I did my best to raise myself into a reasonable adult but noo, nature wouldn't allow it. Why the hell do i have to deal with all this now when it's not my fault. It's not right! Where's my happy ending? Should i just go back to that clueless child believing in stupid fairy tales and tell her what's really at the end of this struggle. That there's no light, it doesn't get better, there's no happy ending. Will she have the courage to just take herself out of existence. At least she wouldn't have wasted so much time trying because it only led to disaster. But even if i wanted to it's not even possible. Who do i blame, who do i shout at, for this tragic story. There is no happy ending just endless sadness and regret. Regret to have followed that nonexistent fairy tale story. Maybe people should stop telling little children those useless things. Because a little girl in a world full of darkness believed in it!