Is that too much of a tall ask?

I’m looking for a well-adjusted, mature and experienced Dom to build a deep connection with. Over time I’d want him to know me almost better than I know myself, only then will he be able to know and give me what I truly need.

I believe D/s is as much mental/psychological as it is physical. It’s incredibly intimate when someone knows your mind and your body in ways that no one else in the world does, and I yearn for such a connection. I want a Dom who wants the best for me, who is able to push me and challenge me, helping me grow mentally and physically. I enjoy the concept of training, and value a Dom who is skilled in pushing boundaries safely, knowing when it’s ok and when to retreat.

If you’re into yoga and see the parallels between the practice and D/s, that’s a huge bonus to me.

Be my safe haven, a safe space to explore my submissive tendencies, a place where I feel comfortable to reveal my deepest desires when gently coaxed. Take control so I can let go and just listen, follow, submit, be, and feel.

It goes without saying that hard limits are never to be crossed, and soft limits are to be discussed and very carefully explored when enough trust has been established.

Sometimes I feel like I’m asking for a lot (because it seems impossible to find), other times I feel like what I’m asking for is just the basics required to establish any strong D/s relationship. I’m interested in connecting with those who agree with the latter, and feel like they’re up to par – someone who has it together themselves and are therefore well-qualified to lead, mentor and guide.

I’m not task-driven or into role play. I enjoy interacting in real time to explore and build a true connection, getting to know each other and strengthening our D/s bond. Communication is very important, being able to discuss feelings, sensations, mental states and more. My version of proper aftercare is making sure both are ok after a session, and then honestly discussing what we liked, what we didn’t, what we can do more of, and what didn’t work.

I’m also not into the M/s dynamic, TPE or micromanagement.

What I offer is sincerity as a person, and commitment to try my best. I’m not flaky, and I say what I mean and mean what I say. I have a genuine interest in building a long term, fulfilling connection and will give an honest effort. It scares me shitless to open up (this isn’t a side of me that I entertain in “real life”) but I recognise that vulnerability is necessary. I ask that anyone interested in getting to know me acknowledges and honours that, knowing how hard it is for me to be this open and vulnerable. Be kind, be patient with me.

Please also don’t ghost. In the course of getting to know each other, we may find that we aren’t a good fit, so let’s respect each other as decent human beings and let each other know, if it comes to that.

I’m open to chatting on another app, then moving to voice calls after. I am not into trading photos or videos.

Me:

• 33, cis female
• Southeast Asian, 4’11” 88lbs
• HWP, slim, keeps fit with yoga
• Intelligent, communicative, sincere
• Enjoys logic puzzles, the NYT crossword, reality TV, action and romcom shows
• Likes good food, whisky and wine

You:

• Single
• Same age or older, cis male
• HWP and physically fit, works out or does sports
• Experienced dominant, able to lead, mentor and guide
• Confident but not cocky
• Good at communicating, honest, sincere, able to carry intelligent conversation
• Strict, kind, nurturing, encouraging, patient
• Well-adjusted, mature, established in career
• Tell me your favourite drink in your reply!

If you feel like you fit my “tall ask” and aren’t put off by it – in fact, it excites and inspires you – and are interested, please write me a message (Reddit mail preferred). I look forward to hearing from you!

Jessica

P.s. I will not respond to your message if it’s a lazy reply (you’re filtering yourself out, thanks!) or you clearly don’t match what I’ve described above.