I'm R, a 41 year old man from the US now living in Southeast Asia for the past 4.5 years with my partner. We've been together 12 years now and our relationship has been open for the past 5.
With That Out of the Way
You know how you can manage your day to day fine but even though nothing feels like it's falling apart it still feels like it isn't as concrete as it could be? That feeling where if you had someone to keep you on track or establish a lane for you to stay in, it'd just feel nicer? You can manage things on your own but you're better when you have someone to take the wheel? That's the opposite of me. My day to day works fine, nothing is really broken, but I'm better when I have someone to guide and control.
Trust, honesty, transparency, compromise, security, and communication are mandatory in this space. They're essential, even. Without them nothing we do will have deep impacts and we both want deep impacts, don't we? You're after a specific type of relationship, the same type I'm after, so let's make sure we're both living up to the best standards in this relationship.
What kind of kinks am I into/after? I'm so glad I asked that for you:
Orgasm Control - Edging, denial, forced orgasms. Requiring you to cum from certain actions, in certain positions, in certain outfits, etc. Just your lovely little orgasms in general. I want all of them when I want them. Your wants here don't really matter and you like it that way.
Degradation - I'm really good at filthy talk. My voice has gotten many compliments in the past and I've been described as "shockingly calm" even as you're teetering on the edge in desperation. I don't do any tearing down without building you back up in aftercare and I never bodyshame so that won't ever be part of it.
TPE - A pretty general and vague term these days but I enjoy setting routines and rules for my pet. Bedtime routines, permitted clothing at home (depending on your living situation, I'm super flexible here), wakeup routines, times to wake up/go to sleep, managing your shopping habits, etc. If you're comfortable with an area being mine to control, I'll take it.
Toys - I love toys. We all love the natural body, fingers and tongues and dicks and tits, but toys are an excellent addition. Dildos, ben-wa balls, bullet vibes, wifi vibes, plugs, clamps, clothespins, collars, rulers, and whatever household objects you have lying around that spark ideas.
Hosiery & Heels - I'm a leg man so accentuating and decorating them is the #1 way to get my attention, appreciation, and arousal. Making them a larger part of your daily life is definitely in the plans as long as it doesn't draw too much attention to you. This also extends to a larger hunger for wardrobe control in general
Those are my primary kinks. There are others I can enjoy but they don't have the pull on me like the others do. Bondage, pet play, impact play, bimbofication, free use, and body writing. Those are the "yeses", but what are the "nos"? I asked for you again. You're welcome:
Ageplay - I'm an adult, you're an adult, it stays that way. Non-negotiable.
Gross/Fluids - Not meant to kinkshame those who are into these things but anything coming from inside the body to the outside (except cum!) is a "nope" for me. This includes blood, shit, puke, pus, and probably other things I can't think of at the moment. Biology is ew lol.
Marks/scarring - Not on my watch. I like my dolls intact and in pristine condition whenever possible, let's not mar the beauty of my possessions.
Anything Illegal - Broad category but some specifics are no criminal acts, no children involved, no animals involved, no extreme violence, no unethical behavior.
Drug Use - Hard pass for me if you like to get stoned during sessions or regularly use drugs. I won't play with you when you're drunk either, I want my girl to be fully mentally present during our time.
I do reserve the right to raise other things as limits as they may come up. You have that right also. We can't always remember every little detail when we need them, right?
About Me
Everyone's favorite part to write in an ad. Me me me. I'm progressive as hell and I'm here because it's just logistically more possible this way. I'm a humanist and I strongly believe in equality. Actual fucking equality. Between genders, races, gender identities, sexual orientations, ethnicities, everything almost. My exceptions are governments and religion. I'm an atheist and I recognize some moral systems are more acceptable than others.
I love animals and we have 4 cats, 3 of which were strays we've taken in (there are so many stray animals here it's heartbreaking). I teach ESL to adults online working from home so I have a great work life balance for the most part. Busy days leave my brain drained (5 hours of conversations can be rough!) but I make sure they don't happen too often. I love all types of music in all types of languages and I'm happy to share spotify playlists to anyone who's interested. I love mental activities like board games (Pandemic, Eldritch Horror, the Tiny Epic series, and more) and variant sudoku (kropki dots, XV, and fog of war being my favorite rulesets). Physically I'm 178cm/5'10 with hazel eyes and short brown hair getting a bit salt browny. I also have a short beard that is saltier brown than my hair.
Verification is required and since I enjoy voice calls for sessions, I'm happy to verify by voice.
Oh, last thing, be mindful of time zones. My most consistent window of availability is morning, my time. This translates to evenings in the US since I'm 12 hours ahead of EST.
Did I forget anything? Impossible, this ad feels so fucking long. Let me know if I did. Or if you're into what I've put down here.
-Your Potential New Owner
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