Seeking long-term girlfriend with possible slow burn romance.

I'm in the midst of a tedious but worthwhile journey of self-improvement to make amends for past behaviors, become a good person, and continue that ascension path to avoid future regret and, most importantly, to help others succeed and find happiness.

I've been searching for a girlfriend for a while now, and I've come to terms with why I keep failing. Upfront honesty and admitting my truth are of utmost importance. I have a bad habit of worrying about how the community at large is going to react to my words, to my motivations, etc. Out of fear and anxiety, I usually bury the truth of the matter and put out a generic post about seeking a girlfriend. But it's so much more than that. The process of building a relationship takes time, and you can't just jump from point A to point Z. However, it's important to set up some expectations from the beginning so that the person making a decision can better weigh both the short-term and long-term risks and rewards. That being said, anything I list or say here is to be taken as a future desire, not that I expect it right from the get-go with any person who decides to respond. Maybe this is just my perception, but I feel like people get creeped out by personals because they run under the assumption that all these things are supposed to magically come to fruition if they open a chat with somebody. Hence, my recurring anxiety. But that ends now.

Getting to what I'm looking for: I'm seeking a girlfriend who will become my best friend and confidant, and I will be the same to her. I want to eventually share a life together. Yes, that includes living together, yes, that includes interacting with my children, and yes, that includes having a relationship with my husband. I am absolutely obsessed with him, going so far as to consider him a demi-god, and prefer when he's involved in every part of my life. The level of involvement is undetermined. That has to play out naturally and organically. My primary motivation is not the kinks or the threesome or any of the physical perks (although, I'm assuming these things will come up in the future if things work out). Because these will be future considerations, I'm also looking for someone who is a switch. More specifically, someone who is dominant to women and submissive to men. My husband is a dominant primal caregiver, and I am a submissive (primal or pet - still figuring out all the nuances). Not a dominant bone in me. I am for sure a masochist though. I am demisexual and need a very close relationship with someone before I can open myself up on a physically intimate level.

Other than that one aspect of our lives, I also want a girlfriend who will share in my long-term goal and passion to write books. My husband is great at plotting, world-building, and those types of things. I'm good at character development, and my specialty is editing and grammar. I'd like my future girlfriend to take part too, whether that's through artistic input, a new writing perspective, or simply accountability and pushing me to fulfill my goals. In turn, I also want to support her in achievements of her own desire and nudge her along a path of ascendency that makes sense for her personality.

In essence, I'm looking for someone who's confident in her abilities, likes the idea of long-term stability, keeps her pride in check, and needs to feel connected to another person to feel love. She probably has a number of hobbies that revolve around a common theme or passion. She's brave enough to venture into an unconventional relationship dynamic, won't back out if fear creeps in, and won't give up when the novelty wears off. She's not afraid of looking at the world from brand-new perspectives and ultimately wants to be the absolute best version of herself, regardless of the work required to achieve such a lofty goal.

Some things about me you might want to know:

38F married to 37M; ENM polyfidelity; bisexual but limited experience with women, politically Left; have school-aged children

Long brown hair, blue eyes, thin, 5'1"; comfy casual style (but I'm open if my gf wants to change this)

Interests: Writing, Language, Reading, Witchcraft, Occult Topics, True Crime, Spirituality (not religious), Text-Based Roleplay, TTRPGs

Location doesn't matter much, other than U.S., but I'm working toward moving up north (probably a blue Midwestern area). Thanks for reading, and while hope and optimism aren't the best things for me right now, I'm putting my wish out into the ether.