I am a 36-year-old submissive guy with some BDSM experience but next to zero relationship or vanilla sexual experience. I am looking for a casual play dynamic with a domme-leaning woman who is /- 7 years of my age.

A bit about me as a person: I graduated from law school in 2021 and am hoping to pursue a career in public interest legal work — as a public defender, representing tenants in housing cases, or something of that sort. I long for community built around causes I believe in, such as abolishing police and mass incarceration, improving social services, and supporting each other. I am pretty far left on the political spectrum, and I don’t think I could have a romantic relationship with someone who isn’t at least to the left of the mainstream democratic party. In my free time, I enjoy working out, playing with my nieces and nephew, and watching baseball. I like going to comedy shows and seeing movies in theaters. I’m trying to read more and watch less TV.

Kinks: I’m into pretty standard-fare BDSM stuff: bondage, sensory deprivation, light pain, spanking, dirty talk. A lot of my kink interests relate to being objectified and feeling dirty. I would love to improve my oral skills, so an interest in cunnilingus (and patient instruction 😊) is a plus. My biggest kinks are probably pegging and “forced” bi. So if you have a male friend who could join, that would also be a plus.

What I’m looking for: Ultimately, I’d like to find a lifelong relationship. But for a variety of reasons, I’m not able to pursue a serious relationship right now, so I think a casual, friends-with-benefits-type situation would be my ideal. On the other hand, I’ve found that text- or online-only connections are too casual and impersonal. They tend to fizzle out, even when there seems to be mutual affection. For that reason, I’m only interested in hearing from semi-local people willing to meet face to face in the near term.

Logistics: I currently live with my parents in Bergen County, which means that I cannot host. Please make an effort to describe yourself beyond your age and location, as I have done here. One-line messages and chat requests will be ignored. I’d like to exchange pictures within the first few messages to ensure there’s mutual attraction. Good luck finding whatever you are looking for.