I have been searching for more than a month and still have not found someone......

I try to be a decent human being. I vote for women's rights, work with charities and even play Santa for homeless children around Christmas time. When friends need help, I will always drop everything in order to go to them and help however I can. Overall, I consider myself to be very ethical and humane.

But then when it comes to sex, that all goes out the window. Women become objects to me whose only purpose is to give me pleasure. I don't care about their comfort, their feelings, or even their name. They exist solely for me to ring as much pleasure out of their body as possible before discarding them like the trash they are. I want to hurt them and degrade them physically and psychologically for my own pleasure. I want to control their life and make decisions about their body. And why shouldn't I? I'm a man. I'm entitled to that power over them, and they deserve to be exploited like that because they chose to be a woman. And when it's all said and done, I expect them to thank me for giving them attention, and for them to come crawling back to me for more.

But as soon as sex is over, I go back to being a human again and all I want for my partner is to give them love and affection and for them to be happy and successful in everything they do.

I've found dating to be kind of a struggle because 1: that's a pretty hardcore Dom/Sub scenario to try to play out just on its own and 2: I can't really express that to any feminist partners of mine because like, they like me because I treat them with respect, so they're definitely not into the exact opposite of that. And even bringing it up could risk ending the relationship. I mean what feminist would want to date a guy who's like "yeah, I love you, but also I'm entitled to raping you because you're weak, and I can get away with it."

I don't want to actually cause trauma or anything. Like I've said, as soon as I'm not a horny I don't feel this way. It's just something that I feel when I am horny and I need someone who can handle it. So what I really want are strong and smart women who would like to have all of her rights taken away from her and engage in the most patriarchal and misogynistic sex play you could probably imagine.