So, without getting into too much detail and crying for attention, i guess what im trying to accomplish here is asking for help/advice on how to move on from a "lifestyle" relationship.

It's kind of particularly hard because it was my first genuine serious relationship in the sense where i thought we were going to grow old together. I've been with other women before, and partook in the BDSM lifestyle with other women before, but only in the capacity of kinks, not actual lifestyle. And i guess the dilemma im inquiring about is how do i heal from this? It was very recent, like 3 weeks ago come Sunday. I'm obviously not trying to jump into another relationship, and im not trying to forget my ex with physical relationships right now, I'm just trying to fish for ideas on how one even moves on from something like this.

Like...I can't go back to being vanilla. But, when the time comes, i don't know if i can open myself back up to something so intimate as the lifestyle with someone else. I can't talk with family about this. And i can talk to friends about it, but legitimately none of my friends really have any idea about what I'm going through because they haven't lived the lifestyle...i just. I need help. I need advice. And I'd be very appreciative of some support...