Greetings all.

TLDR version; I've tried collarspace, fetlife, OKCupid, Tinder, SLS.com, Tumblr, and local BDSM groups, but have had a hard time encountering folks with a similar interest in exploring D/s or M/s power dynamics or investing the time to work on building the trust for power play. Any suggestions for how to meet others sincerely interested in exploring deeper power dynamics?

Longer version: So, I've been stuck in (and trying to get out of) South Carolina for awhile now. One of the things that struck me pretty quick here is how sexually repressive the region is ("abstinence only" sex-ed is the only legal sex-ed for public schools, for example). Maybe I'm just doing it wrong, but polite messages sent via OKCupid, Fetlife, and Collarspace maybe net one or two replies a year. Polite as in "here's me relating to / commenting on this thing you wrote in your profile, followed by a clever question, maybe with a 'oh, I think your pics are great too'" line. I've gone to a few of the local BDSM groups and even got heavily involved for awhile, but there weren't really many opportunities for forming a D/s or M/s relationship (though I did make a few friends, as well as discovered a number of drama queens). I've gone with my rather vanilla (though she likes to slut around) partner to a number of swinger parties, but they were usually filled with upper middle class WASPy types with very conservative views. Swinger couples we met for coffee led no where either, I'm guessing due to being weirded out by my wanting to have the practical discussion about birth control, diseases, and hard limits. Some of the groups up in NC felt a bit more welcoming / far less into the sense of guilt and shame about being kinky than in SC, but it's harder to drive out of state on a regular basis. According to sites like OKCupid, Brooklyn, NY is where all the gals as freaky as I am live, but I've not landed a job in NY yet. I've run into lots of online-only "pretenders" on Tumblr as well (they fantasize online, but don't do anything about it in RL), but online-only has zero appeal to me. Are there any special sites or "known" locations to go to talk with folks with the intention to actually meet up and pursue relationships that include interesting hedonistic pursuits? Is online fantasizing with no RL interaction the new "norm?" Am I just a total weirdo for trying to find an actual balance between wanting to combine my desire for meaningful friendships / relationships with my desire to proactively keep exploring fun sexual dynamics? Thoughts welcome.