Hello everyone. Pleased to meet you. I'm IfElseThenReturn! Thank you for taking the time to read my ad. So i'm going to try to be concise with this ad, however I do tend to get off topic and start rambling. So allow me to start off by saying that if you enjoy what you have read and feel like you fit into what I'm about and my foolishly idealistic idea of a potential relationship would be like, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. That being said, I would prefer that early on we can verify one another through the means of pictures exchange, as I would not want to waste either of our time.

About me:

Now that that's out of the way, I'm sure you're curious to know a bit or a lot about me. Well, the boring stuff is that I'm work in IT Security, live alone in an decent apartment with my dog, and try to keep to a solid workout schedule of at least three days a week. I tend to do well for myself, and have been able to enjoy several nice vacations this year, including a cruise. While it's no longer part of my life, I am an 8 year Active Duty Air Force veteran with an honorable discharge. I have an Associate's Degree, a Bachelor's Degree, and a few certifications in my working field with the goal of starting my Master's Degree in the next couple of years alongside additional certifications. Also, since it matters to a few people, I am 6'1 and about 220 lbs. Now with all the of that out of the way, let's get into the fun stuff. I'm a massive geek, and dork. I tend to enjoy making people laugh and have fun more than anything else. I play tons of different games which I love to be competitive in such as Warhammer 40k (I play Stormlance Space Marines, Genestealer Cults, and Thousand Sons), various fighting games (Guilty Gear XRD REV 2, Guilty Gear STRIVE, Smash Brothers Ultimate), card games (Here to Slay, YOMI, Unstable Unicorns, and Doomlings). I'm also a fan of several anime, a favorite of mine which will never shift is One Piece, and other shows such as Community, Breaking Bad, Bojack Horseman, Top Gear, Invincible, Inside Job, and more. I run two D&D campaigns as the Dungeon Master as well. In my free time I tend to relax, watch videos, play the above types of games, print/build/paint models, plan D&D sessions, walk and play with my dog, and I've recently started to try streaming again where I primarily play Warhammer 40k Solohammer games on Tabletop Simulator. Naturally, I'm a bit of a homebody, but enjoy going out on occasion to hang out with friends, play games, eat good food, and drink a couple of cold drinks.

As far as most of my kinks, while this gives a good idea here is where I land:

https://i.imgur.com/e1HPfkM.png

About You:

First and foremost: Single and child-free are probably my biggest deal breakers regarding this. I am not looking to have children, and in fact in the process to find a urologist to have a vasectomy. There is also the hope and expectation that after a certain time that one or both of us would relocate pending various circumstances. Ideally you are between 18-35 years old, and have a slender to athletic/average build and I would very much like to be attracted to you, but I will say I do have a weakness for soft/pastel goth and the e-girl aesthetic style. Now, more importantly, you are an absolute goofball and geek. Attempting to enjoy the nerdy side of life, games, and inside jokes are key. Alongside that a great sense of humor is a must as well. You are also someone who would put express a lot of interest in getting to know me and isn't shy or afraid of expressing your intent. You are a mixture of different submissive types, but you are a primarily a natural service submissive, and are looking for a 24/7 Total-Power Exchange relationship dynamic where your Master/Owner/Sir/Daddy is your dedicated partner. You have a high service sub/slave side to you, and a drive to become the ideal partner for whomever you decide owns you. You are very kinky, and have very few limitations and is willing to go to lengths to be as available or as useful to your partner as much as possible. Things such as rules/protocol/dress and appearance/behavioral training all being things that you would feel to be fundamental in the relationship's dynamic.

Dommy Mommy side:

If you are wondering about this side of me, a lot of the above still applies. Even better if you're a Switch, with these types of tendencies. However, I'm hoping to find a gentle, loving, caring, and pleasure based Dommy Mommy. Someone who is assertive and authoritative with their affection and possessiveness over me. Yet is very much into pleasuring her partner this way. I'm still new to this side sot here is a lot to figure out, but I am open to discussing it.

In closing, I'm looking for someone along those lines. I'm not seeking for a perfect match, as I know that's a futile effort. However, if you think you come close and what I have to offer is something to be sought out, then I encourage yout o message me. Please message me, and let me know what you enjoyed most out of this ad, and tell me about yourself! I'm willing to verify myself as well, so there's no need to worry about that as long as you're willing to do the same! Thank you for your time and I look forward to getting to know you.