Hey everyone! I’m 19F in a non-monogamous relationship. A lot of my partners are pretty close to me, not in a romantic sense but more in a platonic sense. One such partner, I’ll call him K (22M), is a total sweetheart. Charming, friendly, fun to talk to, and very supportive. Wonderful guy all-around.

I’m also a switch. I love the kink community, I love my freaky collection of toys and gear, and I love putting on a show, whether it’s for my sub or for my sir. Most of all, I like making my partners happy. It’s a big part of my life, even if I’m not very open about it.

That being said, I haven’t gotten a chance to see my kink-scene partners in a long time. However, I have seen quite a lot of K recently. And we’re AGGRESSIVE. A few days before I moved out of my dorm, we met up and I marked K up so well he had to wear collared shirts for a whole week. He really, genuinely loves all of it (though he did get on my case about last time and asked me to be a little more gentle next time, haha).

However, I’d love to see what else I can get K to throw at me. I want to introduce him to the kink scene, but in a safe, non-threatening and non-pushy way.

I’ve already shown him all my gear, but he’s said, basically, “I think we’ve found a formula that works, why not stick to it?” I’m more of a “variety is the spice of life” person, obviously, but I don’t mind. Recently, I made some hints about how he’s more than welcome to use whatever I’ve got in my gear bag, but I always feel a little guilty bc he asks me if I want him to (do said kinky thing) to me and I get flustered because I feel like I’m pressuring him into something he doesn’t want to do.

Alright reddit, what sorts of lighter kink things can I gradually introduce to this guy to possibly pique his interest? I don’t want to throw him into the deep end here. I’m pretty big on praise (giving and receiving), and also restraints (being the restrainer and the restrained, haha). We’re limited to over-the-phone or over-video shenanigans at the moment, but I’m sure we’ll get the opportunity to drive across the state to go visit each other sooner or later. And obviously, if K ends up not being into it, I’ll still be happy with doing rough vanilla things.

EDIT/UPDATE: Thanks for all the wonderful feedback! I agree, I definitely need to be more assertive with what I want, and I think I’m gonna start working on that. I’m normally extremely open with my partners, but idk this is my first partner with “experience” in a while? And definitely my first experienced partner I’ve actually gone back to after the first encounter. So as a result, I tend to get a little flustered talking about this kinda stuff with him o///o

In other news, the night after posting this I got into a video call with K (instead of just voice call stuff, like the usual). We were both a little unsure what to do, so I proposed that I do a self-tie (nothing special, just a rope harness). K was cool with it, and while I was a little out of practice, I think he liked it! :D So that’s really exciting

(Also in about a month I’m throwing a house party, but given the kinds of people I’m inviting, I have some sneaking suspicions it might turn into something a little more... interesting. Since I’m also inviting kink community friends, I think that might be a good opportunity to introduce K to more advanced stuff.)