So, long story short, my husband has DID (disassociative identity disorder). My husband is completely okay with me being sexual and having relationships with 2 of his alters. Which is great! I'm excited ro ask them out! But here is where the BDSM aspect comes in.

So, I am a sub. Very much so. Always have been always will be. Ain't a dominant bone in my body. My husband is also a sub, but is a little better about trying to he dominant (just not to the extent that I need). I love our sex life, don't get me wrong! I just really really need to be dominated. I've got a lot of kinks I want to explore.

One of the alters (E) I want to be with has already expressee interest in being sexual with me. He is very very dominant. I mean like, VERY dominant. I've seen his BDSM test results. There isn't a submissive bone in his body. And I really got to experience that when he kissed me the other day and pulled me on top of him. It was completely different from my husband and I had to try so hard not to start slipping into my subspace because there was no way we could do anything at the time.

But neither of us has brought up pursuing it since. I really really want to, but I'm also nervous to bring it up. My last dom really traumatized me and almost made me feel ashamed for being me. He said he was okay with me being a brat and then made me feel like it was wrong for me to be a brat, so even though I can very much be a brat and still want to, I don't want to get judged again. E is a brat tamer (it was at 100%) so logically I know he would be okay with it, want it even. But I'm scared. I'm scared to bring up ANY of my kinks because of what my ex put me through. Being rejected like that from him would hurt too much.

I guess I need advice on what to do to get over that fear or talk to E about it so he knows. I want him to read my test results and read my list of links and limits I filled out. But I just don't know how to go about it when I am so terrified of being treated how my ex treated me.