Ive worked extremely hard to become more skilled at dating and flirting and as a result have slept with over 10 women now at 21 years old. A few FWB, 1 real relationship and some hookups. What ive realised, is that I am demisexual. I am mostly sexually attracted to people who I have an emotional connection with and often, who also have an emotional connection with me (i.e. we love each other). The sexual experiences I have had with my hypersexual autistic ex have literally saved my life. Im not even sad that she left me coz the memories of our relationship and our sexual experiences literally get me through the day, even though I have developed limerence and an obsession lol.

Maybe I am just too attached to my ex. But I cannot shake this feeling of disgust whenever I hookup with someone. The fwb situations were much more manageable and I enjoyed 2 of these due to the little emotional connection I have with us being friends but I still feel kinda icky after them. I desire an intensely deep connection and sexual relations with another autistic and hypersexual woman. Being both hyper and Demi sexual makes it extremely tough to achieve this feat. And if there was a word for only being attracted to the opposite sex that are on the spectrum, then I have that. I find it very hard to be sexually attracted to others who aren't autistic.

Is this due to my own neurodivergence? If you are also a hypersexual demisexual how do you deal with it ? I know there are some amazing women out there and I would love to form bonds with them and potentially date them but I cannot shake the ick I feel when I realise that they are not autistic or hypersexual.

Im such a weirdo