I have been seeing my co-worker for about a month now and we finally had proper sex. The first time was in the back of his truck and not the best. I wanted to try again, so he got us a hotel the other night and the sex was… not the best.

He could not stay hard and that was extremely frustrating. I kept telling myself that it’s not me and also something he probably can’t help? I guess my questions are what advice can you give me to help him stay hard or what to do in substitution (foreplay, oral, positions)? Any talk I could say?

To give some insight of what would happen: he couldn’t get his penis in me. When he’d try, his penis would bend or go soft. The positions we tried were cowgirl, spooning and doggy (successful). When it’d fail, he’d pull back and jerk off to get hard and there were times I was so bored that I almost fell asleep. I laid there waiting for him, so if there’s a next time maybe I could kiss him, caress him, motivate him? The only times his penis stayed hard was when I was giving him blowjobs and I’m like, this is the same as a vagina? Like just put it in! Ugh.

Maybe it’s normal, but I thought the way he jerked off was weird. He had a hold of his penis upside down; pointer finger and thumb at the bottom and wrist at the top. He was laying down and would do the motions with his penis horizontally, like close to the mattress. What I had been used to was men having a hold of their penis like holding a cup normally with the wrist at the bottom and jerking off with their penis straight up. Hope that makes sense lol. I wonder if he made his penis bendy because of the way he jerks off?

Another thing I thought was weird and a turn off was he said he could try to get hard by watching half naked Instagram models so he pulled out his phone and jerked off and talked dirty out loud to his phone lmao. Maybe he can’t get hard because he watches too much porn.

I’m rambling. All advice, feedback, personal experiences, theories on what’s causing his erectile dysfunction are welcome 😆