I am a 32 female dating a 45 male. We have been exclusively dating for a year but he made it official a couple of months ago. 

Within our initial connection - We have a lot of things in common and have a great time together. When he first approached me, he told me he wanted to settle down and wouldn't mind getting married again. He explained he wanted to take things slow to truly get to know one another. I was more than okay with this.

 As time passed he revealed to me that he was an ex-swinger with his ex-wife. He explained  that that's what ultimately ended their relationship- She wanted to stop the lifestyle and he didn't. I asked him if this was something he still craved and at the time he told me no. I expressed to him that  I am a person who values monogamy. He didn't seem to have an issue with it and told me he respects my views. 

About 6 months ago, he began to bring up the topic of swinging again and expressed to me that he misses the lifestyle and that he also still craves experiencing other women. I told him that if that's what he wanted he can do that - it just wouldn't be with me by his side. He told me that he knows he loves me and wants to be with me so he’s aware it's not an option but that he just wanted to be transparent about it. 

About 2 weeks ago - he began bringing up still craving other women and the lifestyle more frequently (like every conversation) and also started saying things like "I would consider marrying you if I could still experience other women" or "I love that you're so sure about what you want, I'm still not sure about you" These comments took me off guard and I simply didn't know how to respond. He also expressed he began watching porn more often and this was his way to cope with not being able to be with other women. 

Also to add, aside from the things stated above.. He treats me very very well. He is the sweetest and kindest person I know. 

He swears up and down that he loves me and wants to be with me but it is starting to feel like we are oil and water. It is starting to feel like I am just a placeholder in his life. Am I avoiding the inevitable of him stepping out on me eventually due to these feelings he is having? Can he truly value and love me while having these feelings? Ultimately, I am being dumb for sticking around? I am truly at a crossroads.

Thanks in advance.