Hi bros,

As I’ve been going back into the dating world (and not just hookups), I’ve noticed a trend that I (35 y/o) have not been finding a maturity match with the people I’ve been going out with.

And though age doesn’t equal maturity, I’ve noticed for the most part I can’t really vibe with some of the younger people I date— as well as a few older but still immature people I’ve seen.

Does anyone have any questions or for lack of a better term, “stress tests” that I should explore with potential partners sometime during the 1-4th date to suss out their maturity level?

Some questions that were very pivotal in my life that changed my outlook come to mind… - What’s your relationship to partying? (For me, been there, stopped, and came back to it more sustainably)

• What would current you advise teenage you? (For me, chill out, you're great)

• Have you ever gotten fired? (For me, twice)

• Have you lost anyone close to you? (For me, both my parents)

• What a dream you had to let go of? (For me, becoming a DJ, I was just OK at it and needed a stable income and consistent sleep, lol)

Any “stress tests”? I 100% know that’s the wrong term to use but hopefully you get my vibe.

Lastly, I’m sure I have more life to live and more maturity to grow into myself, but at this point, I’m looking for a level of emotional, intellectual, non-black-and-white thinking, semi-age-related level of maturity and having trouble sussing out people.

Thanks, community!

Note: I’m purposefully leaving out education, race, income, and other factors which I’m sure adds to the intersectionality of it all, but I didn’t want it to add too much complexity to the equation.