Y'all probably see tons of these posts. I just need to express my gratitude that this subreddit exists. I have been really sad about this for the past 3 weeks. I've been so caught up on all the things I feel I'm "missing" that I couldn't see any light in the situation. Here I am comforted and much appreciate that I have found a support group. My family and friends think I'm nuts and just dismissive of me. At 34, I never knew my world was so much different than anyone else. Mom and brother don't have aphantasia but I've had 8 head traumas (I'm kind of an asshole, (Asperger's?,lol), and I always lose the fight. I also have a neurological condition, that the doctors say everything is fine, but I collapse, full on blackout, on top of myself usually falling back and hitting my head full force. My family is aware of this and agree it's something concerning. When It happens it's scary. Has happened at least 15 times in the past 5 years. I need to go have the test done to see if I have little strokes taking place but it's expensive. But, I'm "healthy" so I have really done a number on my head in my lifetime. I smoke a lot of weed too. Thinking maybe that may play a role. But I don't remember having an imagination as a child or could ever draw or see mental images. I feel like I've had this since birth but my mom or brother (my only family) can see the red apple next to the orange orange. I just know what it should look like in my thoughts and for a nano second I "see" a frame of the concept thought but then it's gone. By "see" I mean I can describe the memory only verbally or just to myself.

Anyway, thanks for reading if you made it here. I'm happy to have found y'all and my dread is becoming anticipation as I learn more about my rare self. I have a lot of rare things with my body (Don't google Morgellons) Yeah...

Justin in Memphis