I've been mulling over my inability to workout at a gym for years. Whenever I did, my mind would jump to the worst conclusions and I would eventually stop showing up within a matter of a week or two.

Over the past month, I've been hyping myself up. I watched several gym-positivity TikToks and whatnot. Put myself in a good headspace. I understand that mostly everybody at the gym minds their own business; but there's always the gym anxiety. Telling me that somebody is watching and judging me, maybe even recording. It fuckin' terrifies me.

I want to better myself, and feel good about my body. So tonight, around 10pm, I'm going to work out when there are as few people as possible. Maybe wear a black hoodie to feel more concealed. And maybe! Maybe I can build a routine.

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Wish me luck!