Hello everyone. Hope y’all are having good days. I apologize if this topic has been brought up and throughly answered but I’m new here so I hope you can forgive me if that is the case.

I’m really curious to hear about people’s experiences in regards to finding, applying, attaining and living with a service dog/animal with specific duties/tasks geared towards helping/improving their owners with severe panic disorder and anxiety?

A little about me: I’m 32. I’m a non-smoker, non-drinker and I don’t use recreational drugs. If my panic disorder didn’t prevent me from believing I was dying every time I got vertigo, I’d probably at least try marijuana as I’ve heard of the many benefits people like myself seem to have. My husband and I have just celebrated our tenth anniversary. I live in New Hampshire now but I am a transplant from good old Massachusetts where Halloween lasts the entire month of October and despite it being a “fantastic play” that ultimately won them the game, we are still really pissed off at Miami for their 1-point victory. I have a passion for history and I love to be inspired by creative people even if the results of my own creativity aren’t that good.

I’ve worked in retail for the last sevenish years at a very wonderful company. Some people call it the fruit stand, can’t imagine why, but it’s great nonetheless. Throughout my career I’ve had developmental conversations around “composure” and my sometimes lack of it. In fact I had so many of these conversations that I came to believe that I was genuinely immature. I never considered that my management team was trying to make me feel this way -they are fantastic leaders- I came up with it on my own. It wasn’t until this last year when I found myself in the midst of an emotional break down and eventual hospitalization that I -with the help of fantastic doctors- came to the conclusion that I have lived with severe anxiety and panic disorder sprinkled with depression for so many years and it was time to address it. I’ve been on meds and seeing a therapist weekly for many months now and I can honestly say I don’t know if I’d be around to post here if I didn’t have the opportunity to speak to so many specialists. I recognize how very blessed I am.

I bring up my job in particular because this time of the year, it is especially stressful and in upper New England where the sun is wrapped up in a NorthFace jacket for most of the day hiding it’s light from us, I find that I’m worse now than when that is not the case. I’ve come to learn that this is not uncommon. I have become more self aware when it comes to how I handle stressful days at work which I must say grow exponentially this time of year. Today was a bad day. I found myself spiraling out of control and needing to step into the back away from customers. It’s hard for me to explain but the best way I can put it: I’m panicky about being panicky and about it creeping up on me during something stressful.

This brings me to the overall point. If you’re still reading, bless your heart...you’re amazing. I’m well aware that I’m wordy. See? There I go again.

Anyways, my therapist and doctors have suggested volunteering at an animal shelter as working with animals has tremendous benefits. I have always loved animals - We have two chubby and spoiled haus panthers - and it seemed like a good idea. I have met several people who have a service animal as a companion when they are in public or even at work. I’ve never had the courage to ask for advice because I have also seen what disability discrimination looks like and it’s heartbreaking to be judged. So, to you fine folks I ask:

1) do you have a service animal/dog and do you bring it to work with you? 1.5) how did you know a service animal/dog was a good choice for you? 2) have you found the process in attaining such an animal to be easy or difficult? 3) can you recommend any resources that I might look into to perhaps have a pupperoo of my own? 4) is there a distinction between a service animal and a sort of psychiatric companion who is also performing a service for its owner?

Thanks very much for reading and again, I sincerely apologize for the novel I just wrote. Any advice is very much appreciated.

• Manda xx