Hey Reddit, I (M24) find myself in a complicated situation and I need some perspective. So, here's the deal: I want to spend all my free time with my boyfriend (M26) to get away from my mother, who treats me horribly due to her homophobic views. The catch is that my mother and I co-own the house we live in. Yeah, I know, it's a mess.

I admit that I haven't been able to keep up with the upkeep of the house as much as I should. My focus has been on spending time with my boyfriend and escaping the toxicity at home. So, I'm torn - am I the asshole for wanting to prioritize my mental well-being and my relationship over the house's upkeep, even though I co-own it? What should I do in this situation?

Looking for some honest opinions and advice on how to handle this tricky situation. Thanks in advance for your insights!

Edit:

Some more details. The house has 2 apartments, our main disagreement is about the common parts and the outside.

I work nearly full time while getting an engineering degree, so I’m extremely busy during the week. My level of upkeep is average and conforms to local regulations and common sense. However I don’t do any extra work for cosmetics, like having a flawless lawn, shaping bushes and stuff. I also chose not to harvest some things in the garden because I simply don’t have the use for that many cherries for example.

If I would want to do more I would need to do so on the weekends, but I don’t like spending time at home with my mum and prefer to travel the 100km to the city were my bf lives and start building my life there. But I kinda feel guilty for just abandoning my mother…