Apparently a lot of people are wondering what happened between P and I, so I figured why not give the people what they want haha

Part 1: Pick Me. Choose Me. Leave Me.

Part 2: r/alasjuicy continuation Choke

Part 3: Me. Choose Me. Leave Me.

A lot has happened between my last post about him and now, so I’m sure the tone of my story will change.

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You were gone for a couple of months, but unfortunately had to come back right away to the PH to fix some more papers. I was terrified of seeing you again. We were in the same group of friends so I knew it would be inevitable. Of course we all ended up drinking again, but you really never stayed late anymore, and obviously didn’t bring me home. Until my birthday.

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I was definitely happy we were getting into our platonic groove again. Sure it wasn’t the same as before, but I didn’t want it to be either because that’s what led us to hooking up in the first place. I was surprised you attended my party. We barely spoke that night, but I was ok with that. I was just happy you were there. We were both trying and that’s what was important to me. The guests started to leave one by one, until it was just you, me, and your happy crush that were left. I had a great night just the 3 of us drunkenly arguing and laughing about the stupidest shit. I was very happy your happy crush was there because I felt like we could be us again with her as like the moderator. She even made you promise to bring me home. The car ride home was uneventful, and I remember being so grateful that we had a sense of normalcy again. It was like a nice birthday gift from the universe. Sad and pathetic I know lol.

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Then, 2 days later you left for the US for sure this time, and I was happy knowing we were ok again.

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December arrived and you told me you were coming home for Christmas. We of course went drinking again with our friends nearly every night you were here. This time however, I was surprised that you’d stay late again every time until it was just 2, and you’d always bring me home. You even started talking about your girlfriend and your relationship with her. God FINALLY. We were fucking back. Then I decided to ruin it for myself.

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It was around 4am. This was like the 4th or 5th time that it was just the 2 of us left during this trip of yours. We were listening to 2000s indie. Transatlanticism by Death Cab just finished playing. You were talking about how you don’t remember the shit you do when you’re wasted, and I told myself not to take the bait. I told myself not to break our rule. But I’m an idiot.

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“I know we promised never to talk about it again, but I gotta ask, do you remember anything from the night we, you know, hooked up?”

“No. I don’t actually. I don’t remember anything.”

“I see. Ok.”

So I changed the topic.

I cried after you brought me home. I felt so terrible for betraying your trust. We had promised each other, and I was the weaker link. And then, it dawned on me.

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I had feelings for you na.

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That’s why it hurt so fucking much when you said you didn’t remember. It was tantamount to you saying it meant nothing to you. Alam mo yung interview ni Regine at Gelli? When Regine wanted the whole airport to collapse on top of her? Ganun. It felt like that. I wanted the whole world to collapse on me, then the vacuum of space to rip me into pieces because you didn’t remember anything. Putangina ang sakit. You remembered nothing, but to me it was everything.